Menace to Society

This topic I’m about to discuss scares me. It scares me because this has slowly crept into our society and is gradually gaining ground.  I do not write to condemn anyone and I am not a “Holy Nweje” but we have to discuss this one way or the other.   A certain report says that women are overtaking men in infidelity. I also heard over the radio that the rate of infidelity in married women has increased in recent times. Up to 70%. I had been opportuned to meet a few free spirits who were open enough to admit that they had cheated on their husbands. Some I know were or even still cheating but the story always quickly changes to past tense when you show that you do not support. I was able to deduce some reasons why women cheat. Some of them are poor finances, job search, promotion, lack of sexual satisfaction, impotence, revenge, just for fun etc.

Financial difficulty is the number one culprit here. I can’t think of a lot of women who would watch their families suffer when they can easily use what they have to get support for their families. This doesn’t make it right though. Wrong is wrong! But It is easier to sit in the comfort of our homes and condemn a cheating wife, but the truth is that I have never really seen a woman who goes into a marriage with the intention of cheating. It is when a woman is in need that all sorts of men come to her with promises of what they are able to do for her. A Nigerian proverb implies that it is what a husband cannot give to the wife that will make the wife look outside. It takes a lot of God factor not to fall into temptation when one is financially down and especially when there is a child or there are children to take care of.

I blame women who throw caution to the wind and go the route of infidelity just to meet family needs. (All those who trust in the Lord will never be put to shame, remember that)I also blame the men who take advantage of a woman’s vulnerability. I mean, just help if you can, help however you can, there’s a reason why God put you in a position of help. Even if you are too randy to behave, just pretend that you don’t care about that, we all know that 99% of you men care about sex. But let me teach you a trick, if you give and give and give and give and give to a woman, she may just feel indebted to you and one day, she will be the one calling and asking if you don’t want a piece of the action. (doubt if this will work in this recession.lol). Anyway, just try it, it works, but remember to give until you don’t have any more to give, you hear? Mscheew. If you like give your life too. heehee

Unlike men, a woman does not just set out to look for sex outside marriage; there must always be a reason. Why will a man ask his subordinate to sleep with him for a promotion? If she is not good on the job, why give it to her for a few minutes of passion? Some men will only give a woman a job in return for sexual pleasure. Why? I am really bothered. Even when the woman tells you that she is married, you still desire her.  As a matter of fact, there are men who get aroused immediately they find out that a woman is married. (Ala, Madness). So when a woman desperately needs something and the only option is to get down, she does it. Even call girls have sex for a reason, money!

Some women claim that their spouses can no longer satisfy them, if your husband can no longer perform, ehen, it’s your cross my friend, just carry it. You sef should bring your libido down. If you and hubby used to go two to three round in the earlier days of your marriage, please cut down to one round the moment you start to notice a change in hubby’s pattern of doing things. A way to find out if you should go a second round is to just look at hubby’s face when he is about to explode. Don’t close your eyes oh if not you will miss the clue, if he is looking straight at you and still coherent, then you can even go up to five rounds, good luck to you. If his eyes are half closed and he is still coherent, he can go one more round, but my sister, if his eyes are shut tightly and he is saying things like, “I’m going” instead of “I’m coming” hmm, he is really going and if he makes it out of this first round alive, please gently hold him up, let him sit for a few minutes then quickly make him some pap, thick one oh, add all the nutrients like crayfish and soy milk plus sugar to help him recuperate and reproduce some of the sperm he lost. Then,  like my people will say, count your teeth with your tongue and do the needful. Just step it down.

If hubby’s “something” can no longer get up. I would have said use toys and all with hubby, the whole purpose is to reach that climax, abi? You will reach it. But I think my faith says no to it. There should be an exception though. I will find out from a priest and revert.

For the one who wants to revenge on her cheating husband, what makes you different from him, he cheats and you cheat. Will that make him stop? I think not. “Vengeance is mine” says the Lord. Do not do God’s work for Him. Most men including my Victor will say, “If I catch you, you pack and go and if you catch me, you pack and go”. Sadly, this is often the case in Nigeria; I know the story of a woman who always accused her husband of cheating and wouldn’t let him be. She always screamed at him to swear with the bible if he was clean. One day the husband had had enough of the harassment and said to her, “okay I cheat oh and for that I cannot swear because I do not want to die, but you, Innocenti oya swear with the bible that you have never cheated on me” at that point, wifey started stammering and saying that she was a Christian and was forbidden to swear with the bible. Hubby refused to buy the crap and marriage packed up. This sister is not sharp at all. So your hands were dirty and you were disturbing the poor man. Whatever happened to “He who comes to equity must come with clean hands”?

You who are doing it for the fun of it, I ask you, are you a Nympho? If you are, do you know that it can be cured? Seek help fast. Do you think of the risks involved? If you do it for fun, that means you will have multiple partners. Please remember that there are several diseases that are transmitted sexually. You could put your whole family at a risk.

Like I said in the beginning of this article, I am not condemning anyway, no one is perfect and I am very far from being perfect but one thing is sure, I keep trying and striving to be just good. The message I am trying to pass across is that women should overtake the men in certain areas, eg, sports, business, high flying jobs, politics etc certainly not in infidelity. It is not in our character, the same way it is not in a woman’s character to steal. A young girl who cheats on her boyfriend is not half as bad as a married woman who cheats. In the case of the young girl, it is bad enough that she is committing fornication and we will leave it at that.

A woman holds the family together, the woman is the neck that turns the head (hubby) to different positive directions. The neck also connects the other parts of the body, in this case, the children. Women, we pray and stand in the gap for our families. We teach, guide and direct the family, how can you give what you don’t have?

It is never too late to retrace one’s steps, most women have the tendency to commit adultery, and the power to overcome it lies within BUT not by might, not by power but by the Spirit of God in us. Try to fight it on your own and you will fail woefully. You have to live as a woman with thoughts of eternity. There is truly life after here and my bible tells me that adulterers among others will not make heaven. I say to myself all the time “Amaka, you must make heaven” I can’t suffer here on earth and still suffer after life. God forbid! I hear someone ask “Are you suffering?” Before nko? The noise of generator as I write this is giving me a headache, the heat,  plus bad governance all these years. Are we all not suffering in this country?

We women, all have a man who is chasing us.lol A few tips to avoid doing it with him; (Lilea’s tips)

1.       Don’t drink alcohol with him

2.       Don’t stay alone with him

3.       Avoid romantic dates with him

4.       Avoid his office

5.       Tell someone who is spiritually sound

6.       Avoid chatting with him

7.       Don’t tell him your needs

8.       If your husband is understanding, tell him, if he is not, this advice is very bad

9.       Keep busy

10.   Pray like never before

Finally, guys please leave the married women alone, help us to help you. We know you trust us more. Thank you very much. We appreciate but just leave us please. We don’t want to do again.

Together we can all curb this rising menace to our society

Heaven is real, hell is real, and the choice is yours.