Satan came too late

Another feedback from a senior friend is that older people like her have lived long enough to know that the stories I have written are true, she said that people of her age have witnessed  even stranger and more intriguing life’s experiences. At her age, if she has to read anything, it must relate to health, weight loss, beauty tips and sometimes fashion. I’m no expert in those areas but I’ve promised that I’ll have subject matter experts send in relevant articles occasionally. Me, I am a story teller; I re-tell people’s stories and also share my own experiences. However, this feedback coincides with what I’ll share today.

I had been meaning to get a breast scan and a pap smear for the past four and half years, I know a lot of women are like me, we keep postponing routine medical checks until there’s actually a symptom. I had been wondering why most of us are that way and I’ve come to realise that it is the money factor. Not like we don’t have the money but we have this mentality, “why waste money when I am okay”. Hmm, I’m telling you now to please change your focus. Like they say, “Prevention is better than cure” because the money you save now could be used for treatment if any preventable disease rears its ugly head.

So I finally got myself to go, reason being that I had a razor bump under my arm that wouldn’t go away, I can’t shout biko.(See? there must be a reason for us to get a test done)I wanted a full mammogram but I was refused. They said I wasn’t up to forty years old. What is the difference between thirty-nine and half and forty? Hian. I changed my age to forty but they said I still had a couple of months to forty. They recommended a breast scan. No problem, I got to the breast scan section and it was guy, ha! I didn’t tell hubby oh that it was a guy that did the breast scan. I didn’t want to give him a heart attack. I guess he’ll find out now. I’ll definitely share his reaction here. Victor can possess his possession shaa.lol

The breast scan result was instant and the guy (I don’t know what they call these people and I forgot to ask, are they doctors?) said to me that there was nothing, I’m like "please scan that place well well", he said that there was nothing and I was good to go. I hissed, "msheew, so I wasted this money?" He said “No madam, every woman needs to get a breast scan at least once a year”Can you just imagine my mentality? So it would have been good to have seen something, then the money would have been useful?   Shee, you have all heard it? Get your bread examined thoroughly at least once a year. If you haven’t gotten yours, please get to it. The official result came out clean, nothing to worry about. Thank God!  

Then it was time for the Pap smear, thankfully, it was a woman, in fact one small fine girl but speaking to her I knew she did not chop her school fees. She was so thorough. I knew I had done this procedure a few years back and it did not take as long as this one.   That position is not my favourite position (I say this with all sincerity but I know some men’s minds have already wandered) and so I was so uncomfortable. Afterwards, she explained the reason why it took time. First, she said, do you have kids? To which I responded yes, how many? Five. Wow! Then there’s no cause for alarm. “You have an abnormal cervix”. Hmm?! She went on to draw a diagram showing me how the normal ones were and how mine was. OMG! She also shared some of the things that could have gone wrong including delay in conceiving and not even knowing when one was pregnant till after a while.  “So why is it this way?” I asked her. “Is it as a result of too much exercise?” She said no, “You were made that way”.   “Does this explain the pain I have sometimes during …… eerrrm.. bathing?” “Yes”. Okay oh, so after all these years, it took this baby doctor (or do they have a special name?) to explain things to me. Who says there’s no hope for the younger Nigerians?

As I drove home, I kept thinking about what the doctor said and I became a bit sober, I thought of all my children, I even had a multiple birth. I didn’t know when I screamed “Satan, you came too late”  I put on my radio and played my gospel songs all the way home, praising and thanking him Who made me fruitful. God is indeed faithful. What would have been my fate if I had discovered this fifteen years ago? I would have probably worried barrenness into my life? I appreciate my children more now and also hubby who broke  boundaries to achieve the almost unachievable. My Odogwu, My Ekun(lion)teeheehee!

Most of all, I thank my Miracle Working God, my Unchangeable Changer, My Healer, My Solution Provider, My Lord and Master for making me a mother against unknown odds.

By the way, I am yet to get my result, please pray for me that it is good. If you haven’t done your own routine check, what are you still waiting for? Ladies, do your breast scan, mammogram and pap smear. Also get your young daughters to do the pap smear.  Guys who are over forty, please check your anacondas (is that where to check for prostrate?) however they do it, just get yourself checked out.

One more thing, I hear cervical cancer cells are transferred to the women from men who have multiple sex partners. Our husbands, please we are begging you, help us live longer. Remember there’s life after here, retrace your steps and do what pleases God.