Mother's inhumanity to Children

It is still International Women’s week, and as we celebrate our women, it is important to ask this question today. What kind of a mother are you?

You borrow money to pay your one room accommodation rent and your daughter lives off campus in a self contained apartment which cost more than your own apartment; and you do not ask how she paid for the accommodation.  What kind of a mother are you?

Your teenage son takes a girl to his bedroom and you rejoice that at least he is with a female and not a male; you buy condoms for your sons and daughters and tell them that if they must do it, they should use a condom. What kind of a mother are you?

You sleep till noon on Sunday and say it’s your day of resting, you do not identify with any religion. Do you teach your children that there is no God? You take your daughter to the doctor’s to get an abortion. Are you truly a mother? Of course she will go a second time without you.

Your son sags his trousers and you say that he’s got swag. Hmmm. Hope you know the story behind sagging? And when your daughter exposes her milk cans, you tell her that she looks hot. Sure, food is usually better when it is served hot and so she will be hot food to the conniving men.

Your daughter quarrels with a friend, you start to keep malice with the same friend and her whole family, your son gets into a fight and you join in the fight, he gets punished in school, you go to fight the teacher, he rapes a girl and you cover up the crime. He goes out at an ungodly hour and you do not ask questions. Are you really a mother?

Your daughter who is a student and has never worked a day in her life wears expensive clothes, fixes expensive human hair, uses the latest phones and you turn a blind eye. You even borrow some of her stuff. Different cars drop her off right in front of your home and you act like it is normal. What a mother you are! You borrow money from your child who does not have a job, where did he/she get the money from?

Your daughter has a suitor and the first thing you want to know is how rich the suitor is. What about his character and upbringing? Or even his marital status? You prefer one daughter to the other because she is darker or fairer or smarter or sharper or more intelligent than the other. She attracts more men or has more luck. Really? Your rich son is your favourite and you wait for him to give the final order on family issues while your first son sits right by you. What a big shame! You are a slave to money.

I once met a beautiful young girl who was being kept by a married man, I asked her what she thought the man’s wife would do if she found out and she said that her own mother challenged the man’s wife when she (the wife) confronted her. I couldn’t believe all that she said. “My mum told her that it wasn’t my fault that I was beautiful, her husband approached me while I was minding my business, my mum warned her to stay away from me or she would have her to contend with”. When she saw the shock on my face, she went on to say, “Oh sis! My mum is a crazy woman; you don’t want to look for her trouble”. Do I want to be described by my children as a crazy woman? Hell no!

What do you teach your young children? Do you even have time for them; do you know who they play with or what they watch? Do you teach them to greet their elders or tell them to come and say “hi” to aunty? Is that our culture? Do you scream at your young child so often that he is constantly afraid of you? He is not the cause of your problems.

Do you pay attention to your older children’s needs? How often do you check with them to see that they are physically, emotionally and spiritually balanced?

Woman! It is not too late to right the wrongs you committed in your children’s lives. If you have never offered a genuine word of advice to your child, NOW is the time. If you have never scolded your child for that bad behaviour, you still have a chance. If you have not spoken to your children on chastity, please do so now. Be the kind of mother that your children are proud of. Be a catalyst for a more decent society. Most importantly, this is the time to heal old wounds, tell that problem child that you love him/her. Say “I love you” to your good child. “Please forgive me” should flow freely, put your pride aside and apologise to that child that you hurt by your word or action. It is never too late to begin again.

I celebrate you!

Happy International Women’s Week!