I went home for a
funeral and it’s the same old story when people hear that you have all boys. They
just start to make all sorts of pitiful sounds, “eh yah” “chai” then move on to
“try one more time na” then to the stories of how a sister or a friend or an
aunty got a girl on the seventh pregnancy. These people do not even consider
the wear and tear of child birth. I am sharing a previous post today and hoping
that more people read it and leave women alone. In fact women should leave
women alone because most of the comments come from women. All boys, all girls,
every gender is as important as the other.
I have all boys. Five of them, all boys! I have accepted
that I am a mother of boys. And NO! I'm not going to try for a girl. I'm tired
of people asking if I'll try again. Try again for what? If I go again then it
should be an accident that happened in a moment of universal gaiety. (lol) and
definitely not because I am trying for a girl. By the way, are my boys not
human beings? We always talk about the girl child, how to protect them and all.
Today I ask, how about the boy child? Who protects the boy child? In our bid to
help the girl child we neglect the boy child. I've had people tell me that I
will suffer because I don't have a daughter, they say I will work, work and
work (domestic work) because boys don't help. How wrong they are. My boys are
my helpers, they do the laundry, sweep, wash plates and help me cook. They make
the best pancakes from the scratch and the best noodles; we are learning to
make stew and soup. Some say they will only send money but won't be there for
us when we are old (rubbish) I say these boys will be there for us just like we
are there for them now. They express their emotions, we talk about everything
and they are not doing badly in behaviour and academics. I'm proud of them and
I bless God everyday for finding me worthy to be their mother. What's my point?
You sit and pity me for having all boys. Please don't pity me, I'm doing a good
job by His grace, face your girls and teach them to be good queens to the kings
we are bringing up. To all mothers of boys doing their best, big ups, to all
those who focus more on their daughters and neglect their sons, hmm, change
your focus before it’s too late. To all mothers doing excellently well with the
daughters, more grease!
This for me is another way of society telling you "you are not good enough" period. People are always eager to find faults and make you feel like you need fixing. I tell my friends always please do what makes you happy and don't get moved by people's words. Even when you have both sexes (one of each) people will still tell you how you need to have another! The prayer is that God should bless our children and give us the wherewithal to raise them right so they will be useful to themselves and the society.
ReplyDeleteBe fruitful... 2 children. Multiply. ...2 children. Replenish the earth ... 3 children. Total. 7. Pls if u have d chance at 7 go for it sis. We are solidly behind U :)
ReplyDeleteIt's never enough for people though, have girls only not enough, boys only still not enough. And then there's someone out there crying out for just one enough child boy or girl. God help
ReplyDeleteHah3rdaha.. You are absolutely right. I have decided not to mind what people say. Girl or boy, they are all children bless by God Almighty.
ReplyDeleteGreat.
ReplyDeleteYour boys are precious gifts from God, just as important as any other child boy or girl. I have friends who have gone through a lot of effort, IVF, to have a child and they are just thankful to have children regardless of sex.
ReplyDeleteI am a Nigerian but I struggle with a lot of our culture which, a lot of which stems from ignorance.
Please enjoy your boys and another thing which you touched on was "emotions". Pleas encourage them to share their emotions because this matter of men being "macho" and not showing emotions is driving a lot of them to commit suicide....
continue your good work nwanne
According to Pastor Funke Felix Adejumo, there are 3 types of children: boys, girls and nice children. Everybody should pray to have a nice child that will be there for you on the evening and night of your life when it is so cold and children are the only cover clothe that beat that kind of cold. I have seen men raise to take care of parents even in homes with girls. Some people have suffered and died alone and they had male and female kids. Nothing is cast on stone, we all pray for good nice children male or female irrespective.
ReplyDeleteNne my sister! That is my story oh! I have learnt to "Waka pass". I thank God everyday for my 3 boys. The twins are role models for their kid brother. I know they are caring and it will continue till AMEN!
ReplyDeleteWell said sis! It's a shame how our society tends to minor on the major and major on the minor...smh. May we live fully satisfied that the life we live is in accordance with God's will for us and our responsibility is to follow after his leading and not that of mere ignorant men.
ReplyDeleteP.S - You are doing an amazing job with your boys. And yes as parents and influencers in their lives, we must be mindful to do our due diligence. It always grates my goats to see how much time and effort parents (especially mothers) exert in readying their girls for marriage and life, but hardly any effort is put into making sure our boys also grow up one day to be not only providers but excellent God fearing men of integrity and character.
Our society is a uniquely interesting one. Keep doing what you do with your boys, they sure will make you proud
ReplyDeleteWe do the things we do, act n say whatever we like cos of our understanding. Don't blame anybody who pity u. Everything in life depends on the choice one makes. The most important thing is that u are fruitful. Is God alone dat knows if dat 'mistake' will occur n what sex is going to be
ReplyDeleteThat's humans, more specifically females for you. Each want to feel better than the other and will not hesitate to point out your 'supposed' weakness. I used to ignore such folks but more recently I have begun to point back to their own 'short falls' and trust me, it has helped to put a lot of them in check.😜😄
ReplyDeleteKudos sis😊
Abeg ur not living ur life people..don't ansa dem o!
ReplyDeleteInfact as I look into my crystal ball I forsee anoda set of twins 4u.
Lol