I am a single mother of a handsome
young boy, his father was never in his life because our relationship ended
before I had my baby, I dated this guy for several years and when it looked
like marriage was the natural next step to take, he backed out.
His rich parents insisted that he
married the girl that they had picked for him, he did not even try to resist
it, he told me the whole truth and how he did not even have the energy to fight
his parents, Jay (not real name) is that kind of person. He will never hurt someone
he loves; he accepted anything and everything from the people he cared about
just for peace to reign.
I always knew that he loved his
parents so much and that they came first in his life, I also knew that he loved
me deeply but never prayed for the opportunity to come where he would have to
choose between his parents and I, of course Jay would choose them ten times over
me; I knew it and I accepted it. (Sorry dear, but I, Amaka just love this Jay guy? hehehe)
We parted ways amicably and the
day he broke the news to me was the last day I spoke to him, a short while
after, it turned out that I was carrying Jay’s baby. My mother was a pillar of
strength to me, she showered me with so much love and attention and also
ensured that I got the best pre natal care. We did not bother telling Jay and
his parents, I was an only child and my dad had passed on when I was just a
baby; my mum and I could do with another company in the house.
The birth of Ron brought so much
joy to my mother and I, he was such a beautiful baby and he brightened our
lives. I did not cry over Jay for a single day, on the contrary, I was
overjoyed and grateful to him for blessing my life with such a bundle of joy.
Ron is a healthy ten year old boy
now, he asked of his daddy once and I told him the truth about how our
relationship ended, but lied to him that I did not know his whereabouts. I know
everything about Jay, although we have not been in touch, but he is from a prominent
home and so I get to hear of him and his family.
The sad thing about Jay’s
life is that he has been married now for ten years and still has no child. He doesn’t
know about his son Ron and that is fine with me. My mother feels I should tell him but worried that it
may ruin his home; my best friend wants me to get in touch with him and let him
be in his son’s life. As for me, I do not ever want to let him know about Ron, I
have a good job and I do not struggle to give Ron the best things in life so
Jay’s role as a father is well taken care of. The fact that disclosing Ron
could affect his marriage is another issue that scares me because I hate
scandals. My only regret is that I am
depriving my loving son the opportunity of a father figure.
Now I am torn between the
pressure from my mother and best friend to disclose my child to Jay and my
heartfelt desire to hold on desperately to my son, I really do not want to
share this joy with a stranger (that is what Jay is to me now) and I do not want
to share my son’s love either.
I pray for the wisdom to do the
right thing in this case.
I got this story today and my take on it is that a parent
deserves to know that he/she is a parent. SIMPLE! You cannot keep such a secret for too long, the sooner you let it out the better. I am surprised that Jay has not heard about his son yet.
Now is d time 2 tell him of his father. Nice piece dear
ReplyDeleteTell him ooh!
ReplyDeleteFor me I'm indifferent.Jay should know why?.
ReplyDeleteRon deserves a fatherly care & Jay's wife has to understand with him though it's going to be a difficult issue to sort out
ReplyDeleteTell Jay about his son. The truth shall set u FREE.
ReplyDeleteTell him what he already knows? The Jay is a weakling jor. Ron can do without that sort of zombie-papa.
ReplyDeleteA man who left my mother only because his parents said so? Ron deserves a better model abeg. Who said he doesn't know? He can't handle it period. He's an ostrich.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is that love affair between a rich and the poor or average ends happily ever after only in the movies. Jay didn't love her that much and that is why he didn't even think twice before ending the relationship, else he would have fought and stand on his love. Sincerely it's a very hard decision here for her to take. It's not as easy as it sounds, Jay might deny it at first besides why did it take her so long a time to come to say it, Jay's wife will not take it lightly it only takes a woman with grace to accept such a news just like that. Jay obviously will try to make up for the past years he has been absent in the life of his son meaning frequent visitation because I don't think she would let Ron go and spend sometime as Jay's and in the cause of the visiting what if old flames comes alive again????. *these are the issues* not as easy as it sounds. I pray God guides her to do the right thing.
ReplyDeleteThere 's nothing to tell him biko. But if he has a lot of money go ahead. The boy deserves good dad's money sha! !
ReplyDeleteI think She should tell him about Ron cause the deserves to know, realized his mistakes,apologize and of course share in the bundle of joy. But she must also make sure it just the father-son relationship and Nothing more
ReplyDeleteShe should pray & ask God what she should do.
ReplyDeleteYes the right thing is to tell him but what if Jay insists the boy comes to live with him & his wife & usehis family influence, thru the courts to make it happen?
Remember the boy is 10 & no longer a baby.
Jay has no child as at yet. His parents may want to claim the boy.
As she tells them Let her physically & spiritually prepare for battle.
Hmmm tough one, I don't even know what i will do caught in those shoes. Let God's peace be her umpire.
ReplyDeleteA parent that abandoned a woman because his parents say so does not deserve yo know about w fruit of the union. However, for the sake of the child and his stability, he should be introduced to his dad.
ReplyDeleteHmmm...it will be nice for Ron to know his dad but I think Jay's family might take Ron away from the mum because they are influential. Let her pray about it, let her do whatever gives her peace and God will give her the grace for the outcome. Ron will not forget his mum, just incase he ends up living with his dad.
ReplyDeleteTell him what ? If the said Jay had children boys and girls will you tell. Jay should continue to pay the prize of his weakness. Take care of your son jare. There are single parents ' out there. Hmmm it like you want tell him because he doesn't vè child yet then take undue advantage over the wife tbat doesn't know anything concerning your relationship with Jay. Abegiiii train your son well jare later you sort it out not mow that he is desperate of having a child.
ReplyDeleteI think you should tell him the truth so you can be free. I think your afraid you might lose your son to him. At this point you should give the boy a chance to connect with his dad.
ReplyDeleteWhat if she falls in love again in the process of telling. Or in the process of Jay uniting with Ron. Or she mistakenly gets pregnant again. Polygamy will start. Tell him in presence of his wife and family. And try as much as possible to not rekindle love. Hehehehe Okafor's law loading!!!! (Precious)
ReplyDeleteweak story. My mother and best friend.....Abeg! Check your intentions o!Don't be bringing grief to his wife who is believing God and using commentators as your excuse. You've raised your child for 10 years, if it was the right time dear, trust me you won't be asking. It will just happen. Let us not think through emotions. You want to buy cheap love through your son from a man who was incapable of loving you initially. He will be the weak man , he is and shower you with love now over his wife for the sake of his proving his manhood. Question is, how will you feel about yourself when the initial euphoria passes. Also get ready for the upset of a new host of family members who would be introduced to the young boy, complete with attendant drama and politics. Be more prayerful and vigilant, as you also will soon start wondering if someone has started attacking your son everytime he sneezes.Msheeew! Let us not pre-empt God. In His own time He makes all happen, He doesn't need your help. That is my two cents.
ReplyDeleteShe should wait till the child is at least 18 years old to tell him. Make she enjoy the boy jare....there are a lot of successful single mothers out there.
ReplyDeleteAs for me oooo, better to let sleeping dog lie, don't go and wake up old and forgotten emotions in d name of uniting father and son thereby causing home break up. A word is enough for d wise. He left u years back, let him remain in d past as for Ron am sure he will be a great boy without a father who doesn't love his mother enough to have stuck around long enough to discover his conception.
ReplyDeleteAs for me oooo, better to let sleeping dog lie, don't go and wake up old and forgotten emotions in d name of uniting father and son thereby causing home break up. A word is enough for d wise. He left u years back, let him remain in d past as for Ron am sure he will be a great boy without a father who doesn't love his mother enough to have stuck around long enough to discover his conception.
ReplyDeletethis one is sounding Nollywoodish.... if they dated for as long as they did,they should have many mutual friends thru whom they inadvertently have minute info on each person.. birth of a child aint minute btw..
ReplyDeleteandi theyparted amicably, one way or the other they mustto de bump each other esp online.
def no way Jay will be looking for a child and their mutual friends know he has a son and keep quiet
Nna na waoh, see story. Well sha my advice, keep the issue till the boy is more matured, at least I know he will need the father by the time he is getting married, lol. I even love the way she kept it to herself, she should please just train the boy well, so by the time she is introducing the boy to the father he can boldly tell the man " you are not my dad but just my father"
ReplyDeleteExcept one parent explicitly insists on not wanting to be a part of his/her child's life, I feel the other parent has a right to know. For the child's sake. By all means, take the time you need to brace yourself for the outcome of the revelation. But if a child has a chance to enjoy the love (and largesse) of both parents, why sell the child short?
ReplyDelete