My Garden of Eden

I saw a broadcast message where a man confessed that looking at his mother’s nakedness and watching her undress made him a chronic masturbator. Story! I will share my opinion, others may have their opinions but thankfully, I am entitled to mine.

I just read this one sentence and knew that I wouldn’t read it till the end, it summarised the crux of the article and I do not agree with the statement one bit!

I grew up in a home where seeing each other’s nakedness meant nothing, the only person whose nakedness we did not see was my dad, no wonder it felt strange when he was quite ill in the hospital and I had to clean every part of his body. It was the weirdest thing ever but when I realised that this very sick man was my loving father, it became easy peasy, this made us bond even more and he was so appreciative of the care. Seeing him in his vulnerable state made me realise how deeply I loved my father and I would stay awake at night and watch him sleep just to be sure his oxygen mask did not slip off.

Now back to this ideology that seeing your parent ( the mother in this case) naked or undress could affect one negatively, I am not a psychiatrist and I wouldn’t have a professional or medical explanation as to why it may or may not happen, however, I can speak from experience. Seeing  our parents’ nakedness should form a positive deep bond between them and us and not breed any sexual immorality.

All my siblings and I saw my mum undress or dress up and it was never a big deal, not like she made a show of it but if you walked in on her dressing up you didn’t have to be embarrassed and same with her. My brothers could sit and have a conversation with my mum while she dressed up, the only reason my mum ever chased anyone away was just so she wouldn’t be distracted and forget what she wanted to grab from her dressing table.

We were and still as free as birds with each other when it comes to nudity, as adults we all still bump into each other’s nakedness once in a while and feel no shame about it. I can gist with my forty something year old brothers while they shower and it means absolutely nothing even in the presence of the wives who understand that we were raised this way. Same goes to my thirty something year old brother and likewise.

No we don’t say “excuse me” or “I am sorry” when we walk in on each other half or fully naked, we pay no attention to it and we hardly notice that the other person is bare. My home was like the “Original Garden of Eden” before Eve ate the apple and to the best of my knowledge, it did not affect any of us negatively especially my brothers.

I have carried over that Garden of Eden to my own home and life couldn’t be better. The only time I am conscious of my environment is when my sons’ friends are visiting or having a sleep over, then I apply some caution. I apply caution because I have someone who is not blood related in my home, and if he turns out to be the son of the author of that article, the author would definitely have me arrested for child abuse. If the article had said that “Watching his friend’s mother naked or undress turned him into a masturbator”, it would make more sense to me. Not his own mother.

Anyone who gets aroused by seeing (not watching) her mum naked needs to visit a psychiatrist. Now there is a difference between seeing and watching, when you watch, you pay attention, observe and your whole mind is in what is before you because there is something that you need to understand.  Sometimes, watching may happen in secret and the person being watched may not even be aware that he or she is being watched. Children are not supposed to watch their parents’ nakedness; they just bump into them and see them naked.

My children bump into me all the time because they do not need permission to come into my room and I have the right to express myself in my room. Even if I am without clothes, they still go about their businesses and leave when they are done. I see them take off their clothes as well and when we tackle sex education, we discuss the changes in their bodies. Just this morning, we talked about pubic hair because of what I saw (hmm…boys are becoming men) and we had a good laugh while we discussed the best way to take care of them, they didn’t like the method I suggested in the early stages of puberty so this was their way of rebelling, now we have reached an agreement on the way forward. (lol). Truly,we would miss out on a lot in our children if we played hide and seek with them.

My sons know that this freedom to nudity starts and ends in our home. Their bodies are God’s temple and must not be desecrated. So far, I see no traits in them to worry about and even if I cover up for them, the school would expose them; they are very well behaved and their school reports reflect same. When they step out of line they are quick and humble enough to retrace their steps. I am not a perfect mother so I know that it is God’s grace. Sexual immorality is a big deal and they know how terrified I am of being summoned by the school for that reason. My point is this, “Talk to your child and teach him to take responsibility for any bad behaviour” (Let him not blame his mother, puleese!)

We are fast becoming like the western world, there is a reason for every crime that they commit, a rapist would say that he was molested as a child, a killer would say that he was also bullied as child, if you are addicted to masturbation please seek help and leave your poor mother out of it. Masturbation is a crime only before God and He is quick to forgive so no one is going to send you to jail for it. To the best of my knowledge, a guy imagines that he is with a particular girl while he masturbates; if a masturbator imagines that he is with his mother while he masturbates; please give him a permanent bed in Yaba left.  

I have seen a guy masturbate before, (It was by accident oh! please, and I just remembered it now). I was with my husband in the flat where he used live, and my brother in law drew our attention to the window of the boy’s quarters in the next building, it must have been a driver or a steward and the intense look on his face as he did what he did was so scary.(OMG!) His bedroom light was on and his window wide open, I couldn’t stop starring, in shock that is, Victor had to drag me out and I had nightmares that night. No sane person would masturbate because of his mother, it is that simple.

My Garden of Eden is perfect for us; we are free to be ourselves, it is normal for three or more people to be in daddy and mummy's bathroom all at once for different reasons, brushing, bathing, peeing or doing number two. We laugh at ourselves and totally enjoy each other’s company, we are a close knit family and the fact that my sons see me naked or undress sometimes would never cause them to be sexually immoral.

Hoohaa!