Inferiority complex; a state of mind that people do not realise or hate to admit that they have. Someone sees you and his first words to you are negative, "you've added a lot of weight" most common with Nigerians.
You honestly tell someone that her shoes look nice and and she says "yes, leave them like that for me"
You get an invitation to an event and you immediately call a friend who will escort you because you cannot face people alone.
You keep calling your friend to know what she will wear to the event you are both invited to, you don't want her to look better than you.
Your husband drives a Toyota Corolla and you ask him to drop you off where people won't see that you did not arrive in an SUV.
Two people whisper to themselves and giggle and you take offence because you think they are talking about you.
People speak their language around you and you get upset just because you don't understand it.
When people laugh, they are laughing at you, everyone walks on eggshell around you.
You take offence at the slightest joke and are quick to quarrel.
You treat friends and colleagues badly but once you see that white guy on secondment in your office, you open all your thirty two very widely. (I still do not understand why some Nigerians accord white people the respect that they refuse their own nationals)
When asked why you are this way, you are quick to say that you are sensitive. Sensitive ko, my dear you have a big fat inferiority complex.
What surprises me is that most people who have an inferiority complex are very pretty and classy ladies. You wonder why, they seem to have it all.
Oh well, beauty and wealth are no guarantee for self confidence, you may have all the money but still lack the swag.
Yes without self confidence you have an inferiority complex.
I also wonder why those with the confidence of a giant are usually short and not so good looking. They look you straight in the eyes and are not intimidated by your wealth or status.
They say it as it is and do not apologise for who they are. I must admit that they are annoying sometimes.
A piece of advice for those with inferiority complex, get rid of the word sorry in your sentences, you apologise before you speak just to be accepted? "Sorry, can I sit here?" "Sorry, please can I use your pen?"
Get over your complex and live your life to the fullest!
You honestly tell someone that her shoes look nice and and she says "yes, leave them like that for me"
You get an invitation to an event and you immediately call a friend who will escort you because you cannot face people alone.
You keep calling your friend to know what she will wear to the event you are both invited to, you don't want her to look better than you.
Your husband drives a Toyota Corolla and you ask him to drop you off where people won't see that you did not arrive in an SUV.
Two people whisper to themselves and giggle and you take offence because you think they are talking about you.
People speak their language around you and you get upset just because you don't understand it.
When people laugh, they are laughing at you, everyone walks on eggshell around you.
You take offence at the slightest joke and are quick to quarrel.
You treat friends and colleagues badly but once you see that white guy on secondment in your office, you open all your thirty two very widely. (I still do not understand why some Nigerians accord white people the respect that they refuse their own nationals)
When asked why you are this way, you are quick to say that you are sensitive. Sensitive ko, my dear you have a big fat inferiority complex.
What surprises me is that most people who have an inferiority complex are very pretty and classy ladies. You wonder why, they seem to have it all.
Oh well, beauty and wealth are no guarantee for self confidence, you may have all the money but still lack the swag.
Yes without self confidence you have an inferiority complex.
I also wonder why those with the confidence of a giant are usually short and not so good looking. They look you straight in the eyes and are not intimidated by your wealth or status.
They say it as it is and do not apologise for who they are. I must admit that they are annoying sometimes.
A piece of advice for those with inferiority complex, get rid of the word sorry in your sentences, you apologise before you speak just to be accepted? "Sorry, can I sit here?" "Sorry, please can I use your pen?"
Get over your complex and live your life to the fullest!
Gbam!
ReplyDeleteHmmm
ReplyDeleteI once had complex issues, tho not in this negative and proud point of view. Yes mine was as a result of happenings in life and I lost my confidence and never believed I could achieve anything nor be where I am today. I fought it for years until I looked myself in the mirror and inculcated the "I can do spirit" inside of me and started working with that and today I have my voice back.
ReplyDeleteSome people cover theirs with pride but still it's obvious. Guess mine was more of timidity though.
All the same inferiority complex isn't a good thing, a person can come out of it if he/she silently and honestly tells him/herself the truth. The battle to overcome it is in you. Pretence can't lead such a person anywhere
Amaka nice write up! Thumbs up!
Inferiority complex on it's own is a killer disease : it confuses the host, it's double minded and insatiable. It should be avoided.
ReplyDeleteDue to standards set for me while growing up, I gradually developed an acute state of it and when I finally failed, it got worse, until one day God lifted me up from it and now they are back; calling me arrogant. I wonder when courage became arrogance. I will tell people always, if you don't the guts to fail, then you have no right to judge the way I live my life.
ReplyDeleteDear Amaka,
DeleteOne very good antidote against inferiority complex is to learn how to laugh at ourselves; then we will not have issues when people laugh at us.
We also take ourselves and things too seriously. In the final analysis, everything done without reference to God amount to nothing. All is Vanity.
But if one knows himself as an adopted son of God; he will easily have a superiority complex than inferiority complex.
Nice article
Thumbs up.
Great piece Ammy... Most people actually dnt know they ve inferiority complex... Thanks for this insightful piece.
ReplyDeleteWhilst it's good to be self confident, one ought to be extremely careful and mature not to lean towards an equally awful extreme:the superiority complex which in itself is a latent case of inferiority complex.
ReplyDeleteFor me, words like please, excuse me and I'm sorry speaks more of politeness and maturity than a presumed weakness. These should be lauded not looked down on.
Thank you Ngozi Nwosisi. You said what I wanted to say. I say sorry sometimes when asking for something and by Jove it doesn't mean inferiority complex but more of politeness.
DeleteAlso superiority complex is usually the flip side of inferiority complex. It's equally bad if not worse
Short and not so good looking? ..
ReplyDeleteWell written
ReplyDelete