He beat me again today, what was my crime? I mistakenly dropped a coloured piece of clothing into the washing machine; this demon of a cloth was hidden in the tons of white shirts in the laundry basket. I am quite sure that one of the children must have put it in there by simply being a child.
His white shirts and vests were stained by this cloth which was my son's blue vest and all hell was let loose, he beat me mercilessly till my jaw shifted. It was late in the night; he would wait till morning before taking me to the hospital. I was in so much pain that I was so sure I would die before morning.
While I held my jaw together with a scarf tied from my head, across my jaw and back to the head, I prayed that I would live through the night. The lights were off but my eyes were wide open, I knew that Dickson (not real name) would come in again to see if I was still alive, then apologise and also make love or rather, make hate. How do you call it love making when you keep hurting this person that you “make” it with? More like "hate making"
He came in for sure and knelt down beside me, he cried and asked me to forgive him, I cried as well then he held me and proceeded to doing “it” with me. I couldn’t moan because the pain from my jaw was unbearable but I could cope, (pain was my second name) Dickson did not care, he loved sex and nothing would stop him from getting it whenever he wanted it.
We had not been to church in over five months and so when he woke me up on that Sunday to get our two children (a boy and a girl) ready for church, I was happy to be leaving the house, it felt like New Year’s day. The sun shone more brightly and the day was just perfect, the pastors and their wives were all so happy to see us and after the service they delayed us from going home which was okay for me, anything to spend less time alone with Dickson was good.
When we got home, we ate in peace and laughed for the first in a very long time; we talked about service and discussed the day’s preaching. He told me he was seeking God more and I believed him. I had put the children to bed and fallen asleep in their room Dickson walked in and once I looked into his eyes, I knew I was in trouble, “Eve! (Not real name) You flirt, harlot, useless woman, adultereress, I saw you, and do you think I am stupid? You flirted with Pastor Gideon (Not real name) openly, I saw the way he looked at you; he likes you and you like him too. How long have you been sleeping with him?”
Before I could get off the bed, the first slap landed on my full face and as I struggled to regain my vision which was affected by the slap, the blows started falling on me like rain. I had mastered how not to cry or scream to avoid waking my children, they had seen enough abuse.
This last beating was bad, I was hospitalised and my children taken to my mother. When my mother asked how long it had been going on, (I had kept this from my family) I looked back and realised it started way before we got married; he slapped me when we had very serious arguments. It was okay then because the make-up sex was usually out of this world, I actually looked forward to those quarrels and the minor slaps.
I told mum that Dickson had beaten me almost every day of my life with him for the most trivial issues, waking up at 7am instead of 6:30am, for my children not doing very well in their examinations, for not making his eba exactly how he wanted it and for accepting a compliment, Dickson beat me for just about anything and even for laughing at my sister’s joke over the phone.
It is my belief that Dickson is a very sick man who needs help, he wouldn’t touch me if he first didn’t hurt me, I think he gets his kicks from that.
My family has arranged for me to leave for Togo with my children, a distant relation who Dickson does not know lives there. From there we would sort out our visas to the United State or United Kingdom, whichever comes first. It would be better to live as a fugitive that continue to live with Dickson. I feel on top of the world already and I definitely know that my life without Dickson would be beautiful. This is Eve's story.
Now, It is both shocking and annoying that some women still live with their abusive spouses in this 21st century and my question is, “Would you rather die?” Please remember that “It is better safe than sorry”.
Despite all the campaigns against domestic abuse, a lot of women still live in it, they hide it and put up a front, just to continue to bear the title “Mrs.” The most annoying to me are the young girls who keep dating guys who abuse them, these are mainly seen in our Universities, the guy eats your food, beats you and still sleeps with you, if you are this person, young lady you are a big disgrace to your parents and to yourself!
Abused married women may find it more difficult to leave for a number of reasons top most being the children but the abused single women, what is their excuse? Stupidity!
If you are being abused by your spouse, the best time to leave is now!!!!! Keep running and don't look back!
If you are seeking help from an abusive marriage/relationship, please inbox me on amakanwosisi@yahoo.com I will link you up with the right authority. Be bold enough to speak
His white shirts and vests were stained by this cloth which was my son's blue vest and all hell was let loose, he beat me mercilessly till my jaw shifted. It was late in the night; he would wait till morning before taking me to the hospital. I was in so much pain that I was so sure I would die before morning.
While I held my jaw together with a scarf tied from my head, across my jaw and back to the head, I prayed that I would live through the night. The lights were off but my eyes were wide open, I knew that Dickson (not real name) would come in again to see if I was still alive, then apologise and also make love or rather, make hate. How do you call it love making when you keep hurting this person that you “make” it with? More like "hate making"
He came in for sure and knelt down beside me, he cried and asked me to forgive him, I cried as well then he held me and proceeded to doing “it” with me. I couldn’t moan because the pain from my jaw was unbearable but I could cope, (pain was my second name) Dickson did not care, he loved sex and nothing would stop him from getting it whenever he wanted it.
We had not been to church in over five months and so when he woke me up on that Sunday to get our two children (a boy and a girl) ready for church, I was happy to be leaving the house, it felt like New Year’s day. The sun shone more brightly and the day was just perfect, the pastors and their wives were all so happy to see us and after the service they delayed us from going home which was okay for me, anything to spend less time alone with Dickson was good.
When we got home, we ate in peace and laughed for the first in a very long time; we talked about service and discussed the day’s preaching. He told me he was seeking God more and I believed him. I had put the children to bed and fallen asleep in their room Dickson walked in and once I looked into his eyes, I knew I was in trouble, “Eve! (Not real name) You flirt, harlot, useless woman, adultereress, I saw you, and do you think I am stupid? You flirted with Pastor Gideon (Not real name) openly, I saw the way he looked at you; he likes you and you like him too. How long have you been sleeping with him?”
Before I could get off the bed, the first slap landed on my full face and as I struggled to regain my vision which was affected by the slap, the blows started falling on me like rain. I had mastered how not to cry or scream to avoid waking my children, they had seen enough abuse.
This last beating was bad, I was hospitalised and my children taken to my mother. When my mother asked how long it had been going on, (I had kept this from my family) I looked back and realised it started way before we got married; he slapped me when we had very serious arguments. It was okay then because the make-up sex was usually out of this world, I actually looked forward to those quarrels and the minor slaps.
I told mum that Dickson had beaten me almost every day of my life with him for the most trivial issues, waking up at 7am instead of 6:30am, for my children not doing very well in their examinations, for not making his eba exactly how he wanted it and for accepting a compliment, Dickson beat me for just about anything and even for laughing at my sister’s joke over the phone.
It is my belief that Dickson is a very sick man who needs help, he wouldn’t touch me if he first didn’t hurt me, I think he gets his kicks from that.
My family has arranged for me to leave for Togo with my children, a distant relation who Dickson does not know lives there. From there we would sort out our visas to the United State or United Kingdom, whichever comes first. It would be better to live as a fugitive that continue to live with Dickson. I feel on top of the world already and I definitely know that my life without Dickson would be beautiful. This is Eve's story.
Now, It is both shocking and annoying that some women still live with their abusive spouses in this 21st century and my question is, “Would you rather die?” Please remember that “It is better safe than sorry”.
Despite all the campaigns against domestic abuse, a lot of women still live in it, they hide it and put up a front, just to continue to bear the title “Mrs.” The most annoying to me are the young girls who keep dating guys who abuse them, these are mainly seen in our Universities, the guy eats your food, beats you and still sleeps with you, if you are this person, young lady you are a big disgrace to your parents and to yourself!
Abused married women may find it more difficult to leave for a number of reasons top most being the children but the abused single women, what is their excuse? Stupidity!
If you are being abused by your spouse, the best time to leave is now!!!!! Keep running and don't look back!
If you are seeking help from an abusive marriage/relationship, please inbox me on amakanwosisi@yahoo.com I will link you up with the right authority. Be bold enough to speak
Run for your life......Rather be a single mum than be a dead mum
ReplyDeleteNobody deserves to be abused like that, PERIOD. If you're in that kinda relationship, please speak up n seek help before you end up paying with your life or worse still, before you snap one day n kill the abuser.
ReplyDeleteMoreover, you're indirectly telling your daughter that it is ok to accept abuse, and your son that its ok to abuse women.
No form of abuse should be TOLERATED!!!!
The guy needs to see a psychiatrist. And his wife needs to leave that house fast. He could kill her before she leaves for Togo. There is no need waiting. The marriage is dead. I don't see why she is pretending.
ReplyDeleteShe caused it in her own way.
ReplyDeleteWen dating she looked 4wd 2 d beatings bcos of d 'hate making' dt followed.
Any guy dt raises an arm even in pretence 2 any woman even his sister, is an inferior-complexed animal and should b chained even in d abyss.
So sad
ReplyDeleteShe's very lucky to be alive after all these years and hopefully the kids will get the real help in the STATES for all those truma. Run Run Run....
ReplyDeleteI sincerely dislike it when spouse are abused (especially by their husbands) however I blame women all for it.a lady that is abused in marriage if sincere would tell you that during courtship her man abused her once or twice. Why hoping on hope. Why gone on to tie the nuts. I tell ladies if a man abuse you while courting it will become a regular does when the nut is tied. So for me avoid such a man who us always ready to hit you at slightest provocation. It simply an immaturity. For the men who convert their wife to punching bags and their home boxing ring. Same. Anthony joshua makes 10million pounds throwing punches and they are wasting theirs.
ReplyDeleteSomethings are easier said than done. During courtship some warning signs of aggression or abusive nature is seen in a man or woman but because we humans have this mind set that he/she is going to change (living in denial) then we decide to condole it.
ReplyDeleteNobody prays to be in an abusive marriage because it takes the inner strength and self will to take a walk especially if children are involved.
We live in a society that is wicked, society most time dictates to us what to do, single mothers irrespective of what lead to their status are seen as a bad influence, never do well, you see them being rejected by their married friends. A lady who doesn't have a supportive family, no job, no friends or whatsoever attached to her name would find it difficult to leave.
Some ladies would complain to their mum and you hear advice like "go back and make it work" and I ask make it work with gini?? Our pastors are not helpful either, they tell you "sister be prayerful and you hear words like
" sister it is well", "it's your cross bear it". There is no succor anywhere to run to that is why most times its difficult to quit. The fear of the unknown, of being called a failure has kept and killed a lot of women in an abusive home.
My wish is that every woman will be empowered both financially and otherwise, have a strong will, have good friends/supportive family that would stand by you at all times and care less about the what the society would say, I tell with this few things and more she would be able to take a walk except if the person is so daft or under some manipulations
Yelu......you are very very on point
Delete