If you ask me

Leo was a ladies’ man and the life of the party, a party never really bubbled without his participation; he knew all the happening girls and all the boys who could make a party rock. He knew how to get the right crowd and every girl wanted to be his friend. Apart from being a ladies’ man, Leo was a very kind hearted young man who hated to see anyone go through any kind of difficulty and this endeared him to all who knew him.

However, Leo was a serial boyfriend, at any point in time, he had a girlfriend but his relationships never lasted for more than six months. Although the ladies he dated were always heartbroken yet, they remained friends with him; in some ways, he still showed them much kindness. Leo did not hide the fact that he couldn’t stay in love for a very long time, it was an open secret.

When Leo’s friends and colleagues all started to get married, he went from being a serial boyfriend to a serial best man. In a space of four months, Leo was best man to six of his friends, it earned him the nickname SBM short for serial best man; this is still considered a big joke among Leo and his friends whenever they gather together for any reason. He has also been teasingly accused of lying that he was out of town just to avoid being another friend’s best man.

Several years later, when most of Leo’s friends had children in secondary schools, he was still an unrepentant bachelor. Everyone talked about Leo’s status, parents of young male children referred to him as the man not to emulate, some said he had a spirit wife while some others just concluded that he was a playboy who would rather use girls and dump them.

While everyone had an opinion about Leo, what they failed to see was that he was battling with himself for he did not quite understand why he found it difficult to settle down with a woman. He always developed cold feet whenever it looked like the relationship was going somewhere and he would find a reason for a break up.

Leo who was formerly loved by all somehow had a stigma on him and he found it even harder to get himself a wife. Ladies were warned to stay away from him and it did not help that he lived in a small town where most people knew themselves.

“Gamophobia” is the name and this is a condition which makes people especially men afraid of commitment. This was Leo’s problem and no one but him knew that he had this problem and he fought it all alone. It took a few more years before Leo was finally able to walk down the aisle with Lindsy.

Leo had a panic attack that morning, his younger brother Law, who had been married for a good seven years practically held his hands and led him into the church that Saturday morning. (Leo must be oyibo, this behaviour sounds foreign to me). Law did not leave his big brother’s side until the wedding service was over and any chances of Leo running away eliminated. The wedding reception was beautiful, Leo was in high spirits and he danced most of the time. All the guests had a lovely time and the wedding is still talked about in their little town.

After six months of marriage, Leo is questioning that very tough decision he took to have a life partner. Lindsy is a very beautiful lady but without the best of characters, she is fifteen years younger than Leo and rubs it in all the time that she did him a favour by getting married to him. She is rude to all his friends and has little respect for Leo. She challenges all his actions and always wants things done her own way.

Leo’s parents recently visited Leo and his new wife; they also had a medical appointment which was usually coordinated from Leo’s house. Lindsy was at her nastiest behaviour, she greeted her parents in law only when she wanted to and did not see anything wrong in it. She also informed Leo before his parents came that she would not change her usual routine to suit them and so Leo has had to do everything himself. This got him thinking of what most of his “preachers” said to him, “a wife provides help and support”, he obviously picked a wrong wife. This wife had only given him problems ever since they got married.

The last straw was when Leo returned one evening and went straight into the visitor’s room where his parents stayed, they both looked very sad and tried to put up happy faces when he walked in but Leo knew them well enough to know that there was a problem. After much pleadings to them, they finally opened up to him that Lindsy served them herself that afternoon, this should have been good, only that Lindsy served them personally just to tell them that they had overstayed their welcome, just after four days?

She also served them cold okro soup without meat. By the time they finished, Leo’s eyes had turned blood red; he was so angry and knew that if he did not leave the house, he would raise his hands on a woman for the first time in his life. Leo simply drove to his friend’s house in the same neighbourhood, he narrated everything to his friend over some bottles of beer and by the time he was ready to go home, he was clear on the action he needed to take.

Leo woke up the following day by 5 am and packed every piece of Lindsy’s belongings. She saw him do that but went back to sleep thinking that it was the same peaceful Leo. It was Leo’s mild slap on her bum that woke her up eventually from her beauty sleep. At first she thought that he wanted some action but when she saw the look on his face, she knew that the handshake has even passed the elbow.

Leo had carefully packed all her things in their latest SUV; he presented her a cheque and asked her to peacefully leave his house. He could tolerate every other bad behaviour from her but never disrespect to his parents. She knew better than to argue or try to fight Leo who stands at six feet three inches above her petite five feet five inches height. Leo said that she could have the car and other item that she wanted from the house.

Lindsy and her family members have been begging for her to be accepted by Leo once more. Leo said he will never go back on his words and will rather live single for the rest of his life than stay with Lindsy. It has been three months since Lindsy moved out, Leo runs into her once in a while and has never for once felt that he should have been more patient.

If you ask me, Leo took a hard decision and I applaud him mightily for that. Lindsy lijukwa nsi onu. (Let Lindsy eat her fill of poop). Nonsense!

Please note that fictional names have been used for privacy sake.