Is it ever too late?

Azu and Patricia knew each for about two years; they met when Azu was studying for a second degree in a school in the US while Patricia was training as a nurse in Scotland. It was during the festive season in Azu’s home town that they met each other; Patricia had come with her parents to the chieftaincy title ceremony of Azu’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Wright who were very close friends to Patricia’s parents.

Patricia’s mother had spoken to her about the Wright’s second son who was eligible and could be a son in law to them. Although Patricia had a boyfriend in faraway Scotland, she never mentioned it to her parents, Rob her boyfriend was Scottish and it would terrify her mother if she found out that her only daughter was dating a foreigner.

From their conversation that evening, it was obvious to Patricia that Azu’s parents had also told Azu about her because he asked about her school and the award she won as the most outstanding foreign student. Azu was quite good looking and very well built, he undoubtedly spends a whole lot of time at the gym, his biceps which were visible in his tight fitting native clothes testified to that.

They saw each other a few more times that holiday before they both left for their various destinations, their friendship continued as they kept in touch with each other. When Patricia and some of her friends travelled from Scotland to the US for two weeks on holiday, she visited Azu and spent two days with him. 

They spent another holiday together in Nigeria in the second year of their relationship and it was then that Azu made his intention to marry Patricia known to her; they both decided to work towards settling down as husband and wife.

At the end of his programme in the US, Azu returned to Nigeria to work in an IT company, he urged Patricia to return after her own studies; she obliged him with the support of her parents and she took up a job in a reputable hospital in Port Harcourt.

It was not an easy task for Patricia to end her relationship with her Scottish boyfriend, deep down in her heart; she knew that she loved Rob more than she would ever love Azu. She left Rob distraught but she had no control over the situation. Her parents would never let her marry Rob. 

Azu proposed to Patricia a week after she arrived, and the wedding was fixed to take place in six month’s time. It was after they took delivery of the invitation cards that they had their first serious quarrel, it was over Patricia’s friends, they planned a pre wedding outing for the pair a month before their wedding, when they got back to Azu’s house that evening, he complained that he did not like her friends, he said they all looked wild and would be bad influence on her. She rose to her friends’ defence and it was a rude shock to her when Azu slapped her, her teeth cut her lower lip and she bled profusely; she left him that night and drove all the way back to her flat.

They did not speak for over a week, and it took the intervention of both families to get Azu to apologise to his bride to be; for Patricia, that particular incident was enough to call off the wedding. She confided in her mother that she could not go on with the wedding as planned; she noticed that Azu had traits of a very bad temper which he tried to hide from her all the while. 

Patricia’s mother called Azu’s mother into the situation and both women pleaded with Patricia to spare them the humiliation; besides, a lot had gone into the planning of both the traditional and white weddings. They had no answer for her when she asked if it was ever too late to walk away from trouble. 

The night after the traditional wedding, Azu slapped Patricia again when they argued over the way Patricia’s brother spoke to him when it was time to take his bride home. He insisted that Patricia’s brother referred to him when he said that Patricia was their jewel and he was ready to fight for her if the need arose. Patricia never mentioned the previous incident to any of her brothers but Azu did not believe her. She slapped Azu back and he beat her blue black.

Azu’s mother begged Patricia not to mention the sad occurrence to her family, she didn’t but her mind was made up that night; she would go through with the wedding then leave Azu. She will save her parents and parents in law the disgrace of calling the wedding off at this late stage. She has it all planned out, she would leave for Scotland a week after the wedding and will never return to Nigeria. She will go back to Scotland into the waiting arms of Rob who she is still in touch with.

Note: Patricia says she never slept with either Rob or Azu. She was saving herself till her white wedding night for whoever her husband would be. (Hmm...I do not know what to say here)

My advice to Patricia is this; tell your parents what happened and do not go ahead with the wedding. Azu is abusive and it will only take the grace of God for him to change. 

 (All the names used are fictitious for privacy sake)