Carla's Biggest Regret

Mansions, nice cars, impressive bank account, frequent overseas trips, fine dining, beautiful clothes, shoes and bags and a damn good job/business; all these sound like they make life beautiful and keep one happy but I can tell you for free that they are no guarantee to true happiness. All these mentioned are just the add-ons; they never make up for the things that really matter.

Carla knows this fact, she lives in it. She turned fifty last year and also marked her twenty fifth wedding anniversary with Tom her husband. Carla and Tom are very successful in their individual careers. Tom is in the Oil and Gas sector while Carla thrives in the Insurance Company.

They were married three years after Carla graduated from the University, Tom was already working and they had known each for over ten years. To both of them, getting married was an expected end; they had been together too long and it didn’t come as a surprise to both families and thier friends when they eventually announced that they were getting married.    

Carla and Tom were very focused individuals and they both agreed to put having babies aside to pursue their careers, they wanted a very comfortable home for the children that they would bring into the world. They both came from wealthy families and wanted to provide for their children exactly what they had and even more.

They sure did very well in their respective careers and after about six years, they were ready to make babies, and that was the advent of their never ending wait for children. Months turned to years and still no child; of course the tension period came and their marriage was tested greatly. Carla opened up to say that despite both being certified medically fit to have children, there were days when they accused each other of being responsible for the problem that they both faced.

In the third year of their marriage, Carla conceived but this happened just when the company she worked for sent her out of the country on a course which would last for three months; there was no way she could cope with pregnancy in a strange country and so both Carla and Tom agreed that the best thing was for the pregnancy to be terminated.

Twenty two years after the termination of that pregnancy, they are still hoping for a miracle. At some point in their marriage, they had a very big quarrel which caused a temporary break up between the two. Carla left her home and moved to a rented apartment, they got back together again after eight months following several interventions from family and friends. 

Although their love for each other grew stronger after their reconciliation, they both knew that there was a gap in their marriage which could only be filled by the birth of a child. 

Carla says she has cried more than she has laughed in her marriage, there is a beautiful big home and a nursery furnished to taste, there are rooms for the big children but they are always occupied either by family or friends when they visit or by other people’s children who sometimes come to spend holidays in their home.

Carla’s biggest regret is the pregnancy that she got rid of years back. Sometimes, she thinks that she may have gotten rid of the only child that was assigned to her. 

They had it all planned out, first, to get their finances right, send their three children to the best schools, travel the world with them and give them everything that money can buy with loads and loads of love and care.

They got their first priority so right, but what does it mean without a family to share with? What is a big house without children in it? 

The word “mummy” from a young child in a ghetto is better than the deafening silence in a mansion. A plate of food shared by ten children is definitely better than a lay-out of food with just two people at table. Nothing gets damaged and every piece of furniture is just as old as the house. 

Sex became a scheduled duty at some point in their marriage, it had to be during Carla’s ovulation, and this totally destroyed their sex life. She also started paying people to check if her husband had a love child. Childlessness turned Carla into a paranoid wreck.

Material things definitely do not present the key happiness, seeing Carla from a distance, anyone could easily envy her, standing tall and dressed in her expensive clothes and jewellery, who would know her challenges?

She still believes that one day she will carry her own child in her bosom. (May God help her)

Please note that fictitious names have been used for privacy sake)