Don't ever cry

When does one truly become an adult and stop being afraid of the dark? As a growing child, I hated the dark and I hated to be in a place all by myself; I always wondered how my mother was able to sleep through the night even if she was the only adult around at that time. At that very young age, I just knew that there were things that being an adult would never stop from happening – for me, this stupid fear of the dark.

Whenever I am home alone and the night comes, that is when strange noises will choose to occur, the water dispenser would suddenly vibrate and my shadow would actually appear everywhere. And also the weirdest thing happens; I would receive a strange call exactly same night that hubby travels.

Being at home all alone with my fourteen year old and four plus sons has been a truly bonding period for us. I am learning things about these two sons of mine that are funny, scary or require immediate prayer points.

Of course, a step towards conquering my fear of the dark is to ask the boys to move into my room; so this particular period, hubby was away and as usual my second son and the little boy being the only ones at home, moved into my bedroom.

The day started off well, and we gisted into the night till they both fell asleep, I felt so alone and I was not able to sleep. I had to constantly check that all doors were locked and everywhere in order.

Just as I eventually settled down for a well deserved sleep, the water dispenser vibrates like someone had actually pushed it, of course that startled me and just as I got over that scare and hit my pillow again, my second son who had been deeply asleep just started to have a conversation. I knew that he was talking in his sleep but my brain kept telling me that there was someone else in the room that he was having a discussion with.

I just covered myself up to my ears with the duvet and forced myself to sleep again, in less than five minutes, my four plus starts to laugh hysterically in his dreams. Yet again! It was like a scene from a horror movie and yours truly was paralysed with fear. I couldn’t wait for the morning to come so I would get some sleep. Thank goodness it was a weekend.

Watching the television with them and my favourite music video starts to show, Adele’s Hello; all of a sudden, my very chatty four plus son goes really quiet, then I look at him really well only to discover that his eyes had turned red. I found it hard to believe that this little boy of mine was that emotional, I held him and asked why the song made him cry. His response presented to me another episode of shock; he said “because she broke up with her boyfriend and now she is calling him on the phone” I had to remind myself to shut my mouth.

What does this smallie know about relationships and breakups? 

Hmm…..all I can think is, “Son, it doesn’t work that day” see me see trouble oh? Emotional ko? Well, although I held him and told him that it was okay to cry and that it doesn’t really matter, all that my mind was saying to him was “Son, don’t ever cry, real men do not cry!”