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people! Happy June 12th anniversary!

I am not about to write of the events of June 12th, nope! Maybe some other time. Someone sent me a message about her sister’s relationship. Her older sister is in a relationship and recently the guy asked for her hand in marriage. You would think that this should be good news but it has brought so much division in their home. 

This family is a below average family, they live in the slums of a particular state (I promised to take the anonymity to another level, no names at all); their father is a transporter and their mother, a petty trader. 

One thing they did for their children was to make sure that they got an education, judging by the pictures I saw, these girls, three of them and their only brother have all the tendencies of being extremely beautiful; the hour glass shape, high cheek bones, long necks and all, their brother stands quite tall at above 6 feet; with just a little bit of fortune and they would be real head turners/spinners and all that.

All siblings are in the higher institution, they have just one year age difference among them and the boy is the last.  Now the oldest of them all has a suitor who she has known for over one year, she only made him known to her family this year and their lives have not been the same ever since. He tried to move them to a better dwelling but their mother refused vehemently; she felt so insulted by it that he has vowed to disown her daughter if she does not desist from seeing this man. She feels that her husband has failed in his duties as a man by getting carried away by a fellow man’s riches.

It is not as if their mother is twins with penury, but the man in question has a lot of baggage and of course, the number one baggage is that he is very married with three children who are all below the age of thirteen. His wife lives with him, but she has partial mental issues which started after the birth of their last child. It is a seasonal thing and she has her moments of sanity, however, they were told at the last doctor’s appointment that the sickness would only get worse.

He claims to still love his wife but loves this new girl in his life, they met in school where she is a part time undergraduate and he, a PhD scholar in the same faculty. He gave her a ride home after lectures one late evening and the rest is history. They had seen each other secretly for over a year and the chic claims that their relationship had been sex free. (I believe her)

He basically changed her life and the lives of her siblings, she just lied to her parents that she was given more responsibilities where she works as a front desk and so her salary was increased; she had to have an explanation for her sudden ability to help in paying her other siblings’ school fees, house rent and the purchase of food stuff in bulk. They even had eggs with their bread for breakfast consistently for one week at some point.

Their home is now divided, their mother and the only boy of the family insist that their sister must end the relationship while the other two girls and their father think that their mother and brother are over reacting; the family is divide at the moment. The man has gone severally to plead with the mother to give her blessings and he also promised to do everything possible to keep her daughter safe, comfortable and happy. 

Her mother’s fears are not farfetched; she is afraid of the kind of life her daughter would live, would she live in the same house with an insane woman or live in a separate house without her husband? Would she be able to take care of another woman’s three children? And wouldn’t she have her own children? Her mother also thinks that this forty something year old man wants a nanny for his mentally unstable wife and her biggest fear is that the woman may hack her daughter to death in a moment of madness. 

The lady in question says that she wants to marry this man not because he is quite wealthy and has been generous to her but because she loves him deeply. Her mind is made up, with or without her mother’s consent; she would go ahead with the marriage.

At the moment, she has gotten a new apartment and plans to relocate to this new place with the members of her family who are willing to come with her, it only breaks her heart that her brother who she totally adores is not on her side.

I have asked the lady to ask her sister to listen to their mother and should buy more time with the guy to see how things play out by the end of the year. Their mother and brother may be the only ones who are still able to reason amidst all the hardship and their mother’s warnings should not be made light of. The arrangement is quite awkward I must!

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