Dear Lilea's blog,
The comments on your blog are usually very sound and so I decided to share my story here so I can hear from your readers
I've been living with my fiancé for over five years, we should have been married a long time ago but it still has not happened.
I love him very much and I know that he loves me too because of the way he takes good care of me. He treats me so well and my happiness is of utmost importance to him, he makes sure that I lack nothing and supports me in every way.
I am very happy with my fiancé yet I feel very empty, I want to walk down the aisle so badly. We are still waiting on God for the fruit of the womb. Something tells me that I may never take in until we legalise our union before God and man. He doesn't agree with me on this.
I an so confused, I know for sure that I cannot leave him, he loves me right and we are compatible in every way but I'm losing my mind.
I really want to do the right him, I feel like I've goofed too long. He keeps asking me to wait for the "appointed" time. He won't say when and I'm not getting any younger.
Please what do I do?
Love,
A lady in waiting
The comments on your blog are usually very sound and so I decided to share my story here so I can hear from your readers
I've been living with my fiancé for over five years, we should have been married a long time ago but it still has not happened.
I love him very much and I know that he loves me too because of the way he takes good care of me. He treats me so well and my happiness is of utmost importance to him, he makes sure that I lack nothing and supports me in every way.
I am very happy with my fiancé yet I feel very empty, I want to walk down the aisle so badly. We are still waiting on God for the fruit of the womb. Something tells me that I may never take in until we legalise our union before God and man. He doesn't agree with me on this.
I an so confused, I know for sure that I cannot leave him, he loves me right and we are compatible in every way but I'm losing my mind.
I really want to do the right him, I feel like I've goofed too long. He keeps asking me to wait for the "appointed" time. He won't say when and I'm not getting any younger.
Please what do I do?
Love,
A lady in waiting
Find out why he doesn't want to walk down the aisle and work with honesty and humility on that and God will take you and him down that aisle. Secondly, the reason you haven't taken in is because you are not fully and freely in love with him. When you do and it is late, please adopt. They are lovable kids too. My two pence thoughts anyway (strictly my personal opinion).
ReplyDeletePls bear with the epistle. I will try my best to summarize the story.
ReplyDeleteI had a friend who was with and engaged to a guy 4 nearly ten yrs. At some point she even lived with him and his mother, he even did some trad rites, so everybody assumed they were good to go. They even went as afar as (after much cajooling on d guy) picking a date for court wedding and it was postponed twice(story for another day) this lady was so in love, I guess he too
Subsequently she became quite religious, she decided to stop all she was doing before...to wait until she became legally married.....wahala, he cdnt deal...(funny guy) Alot of things happened in btw,from the last I heard they had gone their separate ways. Dnt knw if they have returned d dowry.
Love is something any person secretly yearns to experience in one's lifetime and when you think you've found the right partner, you don't want to let go. But when things are not going according to plan, letting go of the supposedly right partner in order to justify the "right-ness" of being together might also be the right thing.
If you'v had the talk, have it again with him. These days ,You don't need to throw a reception. you just need two committed persons. Court wedding/ Marriage counseling---church blessing (assuming you a christian not Muslim) then go your house along with ur marriage certificate. How much will that cost? Not much.
Appointed time makes sense when you set a goal and have a timeline. Five yrs is a long time to plan for a "wedding day"
You can always renew your vows with a huge party..10, 20, 30 years later...people will celebrate with you no matter when..after all na food n drinks!
Dont consider not getting pregnant now as a sign of whatever you must be thinking.. It could be anything/nothing. R your decisions affected by what God expects or what your fiance wants? Can you afford to live apart from him? Use your head not your heart to make a decision and stick to it. Pray! Pray!! Pray!!! If he can't live without you, he would do the needful..most times all they need is a jolt (serious electric shock)in an unexpected way!
Dear Amaka,
ReplyDeleteI understand the need for companionship and affection that exist between two persons that are in love.
But the truth is that any affection and companionship not ordered towards God will soon be bereft of its essence.
The source of affection and companionship is God; without God's presence in one's life and act of companionship; emptiness or sense of forlorn is the resultant.
Therefore, I deeply identify with the situation of the narrator.
Let her keep praying, asking God for pardon and grace of conversion for herself and her partner.
Then let her ask God for strength to love HIM above all things not just for what she expects from HIM like fruit of the womb.
When God grants her the grace, she will realise that it is better to live singly than enter a relationship that offends God.
She will find the strength to either convert her partner or walk away from the sinful relationship.
I am also keeping her in my prayers.
Dear Amaka, pls note dat what they a practicing is a sin and they should stop it. Let them be join by holy, traditional or court and with any her prayer of pregnancy will be answered IJN, Amen. 🙏
ReplyDeleteDear Amaka, pls note dat what they a practicing is a sin and they should stop it. Let them be join by holy, traditional or court and with any her prayer of pregnancy will be answered IJN, Amen. 🙏
ReplyDeleteAmaka you should advice her to seek medical clearance to see if both are fit to have kids first.
ReplyDeleteWhat do u say when a man still doesn't want to be completely committed? Ur not going anywhere and he knows it so no rush for the wedding either.
ReplyDeleteYou guys should go for fertility checks. Hmmmmm. The guys might be hiding something. You may never know how much you are loved. People sometimes shows you only what they want you to see.
ReplyDelete