Kathy is eighteen years old and she is in her second year in the University, she was a virgin until two months ago.
Tanu, her boyfriend of nine months who she met on campus when she was a freshman took away what she considered her most priced possession.
She had dated Tanu for a while before she eventually succumbed to the pressure to sleep with him. Just like her mother warned her, Kathy regrets sleeping with a man moreso Tanu.
She says it has made her emotionally and hopelessly attached to Tanu, all the things she never noticed, she now notices, like when he smiles at or says hello to another girl.
If he doesn't call her in a day, it almost drives her crazy, she no longer concentrates on her studies and spends a better part of her day imagining that Tanu could be with another girl.
Before he slept with her, Tanu made it a habit to visit her every evening, but in recent times, he doesn't visit her in two or three days. He's busy with lectures like he never had lectures in those days. This sounds to me like a case of "see finish"
As if she's not dealing with enough issues, Kathy just discovered that she is pregnant. Of course Tanu has said that he does not want the baby and has asked her to get rid of it.
The two questions she asked me are these; 1)Why do men change once they get in between a woman's legs?
2) Should she abort the pregnancy? She knows that it will kill her parents to learn that she is pregnant.
I asked what she felt was best for her and she said she was scared of going through with an abortion and would rather keep the baby.
To me, abortion is a taboo and I told her that much, I will never support getting an abortion except it is required to save a mother's life.
And of course, at that age, a few young men are responsible enough to still be themselves after sleeping with a girl. To most of them it's like a game and they just play on.
So my dear Kathy, just prepare yourself to be a mother with or without Tanu. If you are old enough to open your legs wide for sex, please be ready to open them wide again for delivery. This time, even wider and don't worry you will get the opportunity to scream again, but from pain this time. Hahaha *my wicked laughter*
On a more serious note, you will be fine; just keep praying and God will surely sort you out. You will be surprised that your parents may not even react as harshly as you envisage.
Good luck Kathy!
Tanu, her boyfriend of nine months who she met on campus when she was a freshman took away what she considered her most priced possession.
She had dated Tanu for a while before she eventually succumbed to the pressure to sleep with him. Just like her mother warned her, Kathy regrets sleeping with a man moreso Tanu.
She says it has made her emotionally and hopelessly attached to Tanu, all the things she never noticed, she now notices, like when he smiles at or says hello to another girl.
If he doesn't call her in a day, it almost drives her crazy, she no longer concentrates on her studies and spends a better part of her day imagining that Tanu could be with another girl.
Before he slept with her, Tanu made it a habit to visit her every evening, but in recent times, he doesn't visit her in two or three days. He's busy with lectures like he never had lectures in those days. This sounds to me like a case of "see finish"
As if she's not dealing with enough issues, Kathy just discovered that she is pregnant. Of course Tanu has said that he does not want the baby and has asked her to get rid of it.
The two questions she asked me are these; 1)Why do men change once they get in between a woman's legs?
2) Should she abort the pregnancy? She knows that it will kill her parents to learn that she is pregnant.
I asked what she felt was best for her and she said she was scared of going through with an abortion and would rather keep the baby.
To me, abortion is a taboo and I told her that much, I will never support getting an abortion except it is required to save a mother's life.
And of course, at that age, a few young men are responsible enough to still be themselves after sleeping with a girl. To most of them it's like a game and they just play on.
So my dear Kathy, just prepare yourself to be a mother with or without Tanu. If you are old enough to open your legs wide for sex, please be ready to open them wide again for delivery. This time, even wider and don't worry you will get the opportunity to scream again, but from pain this time. Hahaha *my wicked laughter*
On a more serious note, you will be fine; just keep praying and God will surely sort you out. You will be surprised that your parents may not even react as harshly as you envisage.
Good luck Kathy!
All the best to Kathy... I don't know her but always here to support if needed
ReplyDeleteWow!! This not a good one at this young age. Men that get in between the legs and change afterwards were never in love neither do they want any form of commitment na chop and clean mouth and tell you bye, in between is what they have been after but at first they sound so real and loving.
ReplyDeleteKathy it's a pity you have to go through such at this tender age and at the critical level of academics. Brace up the challenge and give it your best shot. Igbo has an adage that says 'ihe na ato uto n'egbu egbu'. As much as e dey sweet,e dey kill as well. May God see you through and I pray you get all the support you can from your family but sincerely is not gonna be a bed of roses.
Its a pity but katy no child is a mistake you dont know the destiny of the child in your womb. Hold on the Lord will see you through and give you beauty for ashes. Stay strong
ReplyDeleteIts a pity but katy no child is a mistake you dont know the destiny of the child in your womb. Hold on the Lord will see you through and give you beauty for ashes. Stay strong
ReplyDeleteWtout boasting, I can say dt I lived a sexually reckless life b4 marriage. All thru, I glorify God dt I neva impregnated any lady.
ReplyDeleteMy fellow men, pls learn 2 withdraw wen its most sweet bcos dts wen 'belle' is knocking at d door.
Like Amaka said bout being responsible 4 consequences of our actions, dou it scared shit outta me, I neva used condom all thru as well as I neva met wt any harlot.
Thank God I lived thru 2 tel d stories now.
My peepz, let's b more careful and responsible 4 our actions.
Hei Amaka and my fellow readers, our comments alone will make no sense if we stop at telling how awful the situation is. She needs helps. The first assistance is to encourage her to go see her parents and break the unsavory news to them. So dear Amaka, if you can, please talk her into going to her parents to let them know. Delay can be dangerous since she needs to begin attending prenatal care. Let's take it from there.
ReplyDeleteKathy has found out the hard way! While I'm not against abortion really (I think people should have babies when they're emotionally, psychologically and economically ready)... Being a man, I do not know the spiralling effects on the woman side when they abort so. WAY FORWARD . Have the baby, ... Leave baby with grandma and go on with school and life.... He/She would grow up to be your best confidant!
ReplyDeleteYou begin to know as a woman, whether your man love you when he has slept with you!.... Until then you may just be a "Passing Fancy" (uncle Sam)
ReplyDeleteI have to say this and girls should be advised that "We Men give Love (everything really) to get Sex,... While Women give Sex (everything they are really) to get Love". The two emotional attitudes are not the same.(Uncle Sam)
ReplyDeleteYeah. Abortion is not an option Kathy. Please tell you parents first and foremost. Then go ahead to start ante-
ReplyDeleteLet's educate our young ones that safe sex is the only way, too late for Kathy on that aspect. Men that chase same woman for very long time see it as a challenge they must conquer in my experience & that says a lot about his change of attitude. Kathy be brave since it's not the end of the world, go to your parents now since time is ticking
ReplyDeleteWaoooh what a story! I watched a movie 11years ago titled ' broken wings' the story line is same with Kathy. Now she asked a question why do men change once they get in between the lags of their lady? The reason simple. Men love only in three way: 1. To protect 2. To provide 3. To profess and in expectation of three things: 1. Loyalty 2. Support and 3.sex. In between every man believe that if you give in to pressure to have sex with him you may also give in to another. So once he gets the treasure he is on the move. Now to help our young girls when a man comes to tell you the sweet nothings asking him what he thinks about marriage and he vigilant to observe him respond. If he is uncomfortable about that question he is a gamer. If changes the question he is a gamer. If he want sex first he is a gamer. Only those who are committed would want to discuss issues relating to family. For abortion NO, let her tell her parents and baise up for the consequences because her wings to fly is broken
ReplyDeleteKathy and Tanu were into this relationship for nine months before this Adam and Eve incident. The result is the pregnancy which Kathy it coming when they did it unprotected. Abortion should not come in at all for her life and that of the destiny child. Moreover she shouldn't hesitate to tell the mother who will support her afterwards. Who knows the coming of the baby may save one situation or the other in future
ReplyDeleteAll the emotions she felt were as a result of how virginity is perceived by girls to be their most prized possession. It is seriously drummed into a girl's head while the boy is raised to believe otherwise that he will be laughed at if he keeps his for too long.
ReplyDeleteWith that perception, most girls feel robbed after having sex for the first time. They start wanting to own the guy lock, stock and barrel because they feel they have given him their all while to the guy it's a game.
That has also given rise to many females thinking that they can hold it over a guy's head even after he has married another that he disvirgined them, they feel as if he owes them. I feel saddened by a scenario like that, I have seen it in action and the girl almost destroyed the guy's marriage.
I feel that we should start telling our girls that being a virgin is not a gift for anyone, it is a choice they make to preserve themselves health wise and also doing what the Bible says.