The last post by the lady who wants to cheat on her husband was quite successful; in the sense that the sender read the comments and was able to take the best decision in her situation.
What kept recurring in the comments was the fact that it was the wrong thing to do. No single person supported her. She said that she felt silly and ungrateful and was particularly touched by a long sermon from a particular lady.
Why do what she'll regret? She's willing to talk to her husband and mend the bridges. She searched her mind and the reason she wanted to do it is this; to her she's come across better men and feels she naively married her husband.
He's not well educated and they no longer reason alike. She's not proud to show him off to her friends. She got married at the age of nineteen years. She furthered her own education but her husband never did. His spoken English is poor and she's usually embarrassed by the way he speaks. That is the reason for the way she feels.
They have all girls and she wants to remain a role model to them.
Her question now is, how to cope with her husband's shortcomings as all these are a major turn off for her. She's decided to stay faithful but needs tips on how to overlook those issues and continue to enjoy a good sex life with her spouse.
My advice is, keep focusing on his points.
What kept recurring in the comments was the fact that it was the wrong thing to do. No single person supported her. She said that she felt silly and ungrateful and was particularly touched by a long sermon from a particular lady.
Why do what she'll regret? She's willing to talk to her husband and mend the bridges. She searched her mind and the reason she wanted to do it is this; to her she's come across better men and feels she naively married her husband.
He's not well educated and they no longer reason alike. She's not proud to show him off to her friends. She got married at the age of nineteen years. She furthered her own education but her husband never did. His spoken English is poor and she's usually embarrassed by the way he speaks. That is the reason for the way she feels.
They have all girls and she wants to remain a role model to them.
Her question now is, how to cope with her husband's shortcomings as all these are a major turn off for her. She's decided to stay faithful but needs tips on how to overlook those issues and continue to enjoy a good sex life with her spouse.
My advice is, keep focusing on his points.
Hmmm, so we can safely assume that this is how a man feels when the wife fails to improve herself after a few yrs of marriage..detached, embarrassed etc.
ReplyDeleteBut is that really a good excuse to do what you feel like doing and not what is honorable?
Honor and integrity are words people use loosely but sometimes don't know how to apply it in their lives.
What were the reasons for getting married that early? Escape from home? Love?
Marriage is expected to be for the long haul and even if the foundation was wrong at first, it can be still be rebuilt right (only if both parties are willing)
Stolen waters is sweet and short term but the repercussions are long term...hardly ever worth it!
Things like poor English, bad dressing, wrong cologne, no job etc are variables(things that can change over time or improved upon). Temper, physical abuse, etc are constants(very difficult to change).
If he's generous, kind, caring...these are constants, focus on his good parts..would make it easier to ignore the variables...even if he's speaking past tense all the time! He's not the first. I can mention some famous people like that!
The issues that she has raised are legitimate but she must look past them. The best things in life often do not come in pretty packages. If he is kind, responsible with a heart in the right place, those are the qualities that endure. Let her subtly influence him in the household bringing her influence to bear in the education and upbringing of the kids, in the physical environment of the house. She should be his badge of pride . She will be surprised how people will view him differently because of HER. They will see that he must have great qualities to attract someone of her calibre. She married him young so obviously she now thinks she could have done better but that's in the past. Having an affair will never repair that. She needs to grow up and live in the present & try and count her blessings, focusing on the good and make the best of it. In the long run there are certain things that cease to matter.
ReplyDeleteIn life there aren't perfect partners but we make them what we term perfect. Whatever your husband's shortcomings are,can be changed in a natural way, correcting him with love and a lot of jokes not forcefully.
ReplyDeleteNote: There is no ideal man or woman.
Secondly, listen less to negative comments from third parties rather improve your communication with your partner. Also, a healthy prayer life as a family will be helpful.
If your husband embarrasses you around your friends maybe you should look at those so called friends again if they're worth being around. Do you feel elevated by them in the expense of your husband? Think again because they were not there when you married him. Good luck
ReplyDeleteThe feeling of embarrassment is a choice and I believe everyone can improve at anything under a right atmosphere. Submit to your husband show him love and speak candidly with him on the need for improvement. Also look for right minded people and choose a mentor that you both respect and listen to.
ReplyDelete