Jazz skills

Some tales sound really stupid and fake till you have a direct contact with the parties involved. I read a story recently about two car thieves who after stealing the car suddenly parked, got down from the car and started to bathe in a pool of mud on the road.It was quite clear to passersby that the two men had suddenly lost their minds and while they bathed in the mud, they complained that the weather was hot which made it necessary to take a mud bath. (Spa things.lol)

The story gets crazier; it was also reported that a snake had trailed them all along, they picked up the snake in their crazy state and took turns dancing with it. I actually thought that Nigerians were the champions of jazz (black magic) in Africa but with this, I doff my hat for the Kenyans. This very strange event actually took place in Mombasa, Kenya.

I have had to defend the authenticity of some of the stories I have shared on my blog and sometimes I am even embarrassed to write some stories but when the people are eager to put it out there, what can one do? So far as the stories are not repugnant or harmful to my readers in any way then I push them out.  

I have written very sultry stories as well and I must admit that I enjoy writing them, those who send in such usually do not know how well to express what they want to convey in writing and they call to explain; most of them have said that I made them relive those experiences. A few people have asked me to start an adult blog that people would pay to subscribe to where I can share intimate stories and keep it as raw as possible. As tempting as it sounds, I would rather not for my Christian values. It is not as if there is anything wrong in writing about sex especially when it will be of use and interest to married couples but there is no way of limiting such to only married couples and I wouldn’t want to lead people to sin, I have enough sins I'm trying to eliminate already. But mehn….that site will rock like kilode.

Now back to the opening story; it was said that the men would act that way till the owner of the car arrived to recover his vehicle. (As at the time of reporting, the owner had not arrived) Jazz pass jazz! The story reminds me of a woman who started acting funny after she was forced to eat the food that she had bought for her lover.

The owner of the restaurant where she bought the food from saw when she added some strange substance in the food and sent someone ahead of her to alert the lady’s boyfriend. They were a well known pair in the area and she always bought his food from that particular local restaurant and so the owner knew who the food was meant for. When she got to her boyfriend’s workshop, she was forced to eat the food and afterwards, every morning she would sit in front of his workshop obviously love struck; she smiled any time she got a glance of him and also to herself all day and often harassed his female customers.

When I saw the woman and heard of this funny story, I had to go myself to verify the story. I had only heard and read of such in newspapers or social media but never seen it and so I was not going to waste the opportunity which was right under my nose. We were in the east for the Christmas and I was close to the workshop where the love portion woman visited daily.

In the company of a friend, I set out to the market close to the workshop, you get a first hand information on all issues from market women and that was exactly what I did. After I heard from them, my friend and I set out to the man’s workshop and behold, the man was too scared to come out to speak to us. We acted like we had a job for him and his boys kept checking to see if the woman was coming after us. The man spoke to us through the door of his office and nothing would make him come out except there was a vehicle to get into right away.

Of course, the sisi stood on her feet, peeped and laughed at intervals at us and I learnt from the locals later on that she was waiting for the right time to strike. We were also told that we were very lucky to have walked home unharmed. What even came over me and what if she had harmed either of us? Those and one more question are still on my mind which is; whether the love portion that she put in the boyfriend’s food would have made him love her that sheepishly? What good is a relationship with a retard?

We really need to start teaching people in the US and Europe this art of black magic, the problem though is that they will use their own jazz skills to manufacture cars that fly while we keep rubbing ourselves in the mud.