Her mother always told her that her success could prevent her from finding the right man and Ola lived with this fear.
She would never stop being successful so she prayed for a man who would love her the way she was.
Shortly after the initial steps to becoming a regional manager, her mother introduced her to a guy. This guy was a returnee or deported and he was her friend's son.
His business was doing quite well and the first thing he asked Ola to do was to resign from her job or forget about the marriage.
Ola chose marriage over her career , she resigned and within the first three years of their marriage had 3 children.
Everything was okay till her husband was duped and it kept getting worse.
Now both spouses are jobless and Ola regrets leaving her job. She regrets getting into the marriage thing in the first place and wants out.
Ola wants out not just because of the hard times, her husband whose name is Jon by the way has also gotten quite used to beating her.
Ola how I wish I can say to you "stay, pray and work it out"
This I can say though please play safe and yes, pray pray pray!
A man that beats a woman is an insecured coward. What I'll probably never understand is how a man works into a woman's life & ask her to stop her career/business and she actually does it. Unbelievable !!! Ola you have made the mistake but you have 3 kids in the equation, my advise....file for divorce & if possible have joint custody/visitation rights to your kids but whatever you do, do not accept the beatings hoping that it will stop. It actually escalates !!!
ReplyDelete"Walks"
DeleteComplex is one of those things that scares men away from career and successful ladies. The moment you someone leaves her position in the office behind and flow with with others in social certains,she is bound to be connected to men who have been afraid of approaching her for what she is. Successful and career ladies should try to operate on a level playing ground. We should pray for sense of wisdom and direction to know what to do at any given time to survive the situation.
ReplyDeleteI will say this over and over again as much as marriage is ordained by God, it is sweet if you find your way around it and all that, it's is not an achievement, it is not the final bustop. I don't know why women think that that their life isn't complete without marriage. Marriage is good but your life shouldn't stop because you are married or getting married.
ReplyDeleteOla made the mistake from the onset because she was desperate, they would have reached a compromise rather than agreeing to quit. The Jon guy has always been intimidated from the onset and used her desperation of marriage to reduce her to his level. And now it's beating, my advice to Ola is to take a walk, not necessarily divorce but separate from him, get her life back and then think of what next to do about the marriage. Domestic violence isn't a child's play, biko life first before any other thing. The guy is frustrated and depressed and has resulted to beating. The fact that he was duped isn't the end of life, he should try and get back on his feet rather than flexing his muscle on his wife.
It's not easy for men who Base their self confidence and worth on money. Once d money goes they become worthless and resort to beating to reestablish themselves. Sorry dear wife. Sorry dear husband.
ReplyDeleteWomen mouth sha ooooooo.
The mistake has been made. Any man that Hinders a woman's promising career would definitely suck her happiness with time. The only solution is prayer.
ReplyDeleteMy dear Ola, I am glad you said everything was okay till your husband was duped, then came depression, beating...
ReplyDeleteThank God your marriage is blessed with 3 children.
Please for God's sake never walk out of that marriage for the children's sake. They still need both of you, also everything can still come back to normal.
Please try the following:
- Try to be nice to your husband, cook his favorite meals with financial help from your mum in order to win him for dialogue, then
- Appeal he should permit you to seek for work, also if there's an avenue for you to introduce him to friends to enable him back on business, both of you should discuss intimately.
In situation where above mentioned fails, invite his close sibling(s) for an advice for the well-being of the family because you both can't be jobless.
Finally, pray together as a family. A family that prays together stays together.
God bless
It is for us to give advice like divorce, walk away but in reality the mix in there is not a childs play. For God sake this is no time to blame ola, rather its time to remember her in prayer. And for those saying marriage is not a do or die for ladies just ask the unmarried ladies at their old age what they go through. The loneliness, the frustration etc please when we advice lets put ourself in the shoes. Ola I prayer that God will for the sake of your Children rain favour on your family
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