Punani

It is often said that it is a man’s world and I like to watch men celebrate this myth. I call it a myth because that is exactly what it is; we all know that women run the world after all it is said that behind every successful man is a woman and Nigerians have gone a step ahead to add “good” to the phrase  - “Behind every successful man is a good woman”.

My own version of it is that “behind every man there is a woman; whether good or evil” after all there is a woman behind Evans and there was a woman behind Anini also there were women behind Idi Amin.
It is a man’s world but I have seen men visibly shake out of fear for the women in their lives. A man marries a woman that he is twenty years older than and his life suddenly has to conform to her styles and beliefs, it sure is a man’s world.

A man who is aggressive and always ready to fight anybody swiftly becomes like a cat when the woman who has his mumu (remote) control surfaces; and all of a sudden a very dignified man starts to act like a retard (No insults intended please).

The excuse is that he respects his woman, I hear you, just admit it, you are scared of your wife especially of having to fight with girdles and tight pants in the middle of the night.

Women are considered the weaker sex, another myth; physically maybe, but don’t we all know that strength is more than the physical? And when you even limit it to the physical, how do you explain a 50kg woman underneath a 120kg man? Don’t tell me that there is a technique to it, it is still a mystery.

A man is only a man until his “owner” appears, a man is a ladies’ man only when “she” is not around, in my younger years, a young man kept professing his love for me and promised me heaven on earth, thankfully he did not find my mumu button. It was at a party and he danced with almost all the ladies and if there was anything like it, he would have won the Most Valuable Player (MVP) award for the night. We had so much fun and before we parted ways we were like long time friends.

The next time I saw him, he was with his owner and you would think that he had just seen me for the first time (lol) when I said hello he responded with a whisper like he suddenly lost his voice. Hehehe.

When I see a man still drool over a lady, ready to do anything the lady says and is careful not to offend her, I know that the lady must be doing something right in the “oza” room.    It is arguable but I stand by my conviction that what lies between the legs is very important to the men and it contributes a lot to the way the relationship goes. The sweeter the “Punani”, the sweeter the relationship.

I asked some men what comes first when they rate their women, Punani, Spirituality, Success or Intelligence. Most of them said spirituality, do I believe them? No. Really, there is nothing wrong in admitting that the “python dance” is important to you.

Only a few men admit that it is always a joy to come back home to a very refreshing, soft, succulent, juicy, comfortable and clean…….duvet.lol, (if you had another thing in mind, please go confess your sins)

What makes a man condone very bad behaviour in a woman? What makes a man tolerate verbal abuse from a woman? What makes a man side his woman even when she is openly rude to his parents? What makes a man keep loving a woman even when she is evil? Even King Herod knew that Herodias was evil but he stayed glued to her.

I know that you know the answer but let us keep pretending that it is because the man is a good man with proper upbringing and has been trained to love his woman regardless of her flaws. In the words of Zebrudaya, I say fa fa fa foul.