We love you too much

He wasn't always the easiest person to live with. He was tough, really tough and a perfectionist. If you moved an item off his dressing table you had to put it back on the same spot. 

He never accepted any negative answer. Nothing like "I couldn't find it" or "I couldn't do it". It made him really mad and he would show you how to get it right. 

Daddy was revered by all who knew him, he carried with him some kind of nobility that was obviously bestowed on him by his Creator.

Father is the true meaning of provider, he gave us everything and anything and protected us with all of himself. 

Chief organiser, he made sure every single guest was satisfied and he would not ask for anything till the occasion came to an end. 

This reminds me of some event at home, father as usual was busy calling out instructions and making sure that everything was perfect as usual. At the end of the event he wouldn't speak to any of us including mother who was the first to realise that he was that way because he had not eaten all day. 

He was upset that no one asked him if he wanted to eat. We all went to apologise led by mother who told him that he wouldn't have eaten anyway if the event had not come to an end. Of course his food was specially preserved and packaged. (Mother never failed in this duty) 

He had a routine, Wake up time 5am, prays, goes to his study, reads and prepares his case or cases for the day, 7am takes his coffee and biscuits, 8am, goes back into his bedroom to get ready for work, 9am off to work /chambers, 

2pm home, lunch and then his siesta.(this word was synonymous to father), 4pm, with rubber boots, farm gloves and a straw hat, off to his farm with any of us who was around, 6pm back home. Then he entertains visitors and afterwards, family time from 8pm. Weekends too were for us. 

This was also the time to hand over any lists to him for his perusal at study time the following day and also time to come defend already submitted lists/proposals. Lol.  He summoned us one after the other at this time with his wife by his side while he told you the hard facts of life and other times he called us all together at once. 

"The Rich will never invite you to the table to teach you how to be rich" he would say, "you have to force your way to that table". 

"The tragedy of a man is not in the falling but in the failure to rise when he falls". He had a lot of these sayings. 

He also trashed one for behaving or performing badly during this family time and he could flog for the whole of Africa. He simply cut off a branch from guava tree closest to him at that point in time and designed your whole body. If we were living abroad, father like many Nigerian parents would be an ex-convict for cruelty to his children. Hahahaha

Father kept a file for all his children and he kept every document concerning you in your own file that is why till date I have my nursery school report sheets/cards and even school fees receipts. (The receipt part is depressing).

He would bring out the letters you wrote to him and point out the grammatical errors or inappropriate terms used. He once pointed out to me that I should never write "how about Ody and Quincy them?" (that was me asking about my family in my letter to him from boarding school) 

"Mention all the names or say the rest of my siblings" my father the erudite scholar. 

He encouraged us to write a lot of letters to him and each other, he would send us postcodes from any part of the world and it did not matter how short his stay was. 

He made us feel special, we had customised chairs and kneelers in the church. I didn't understand why then but now I do. He also taught us about a lot of things, he made us go to the farm and also got us to watch and join the farm workers to produce garri, fufu, palm oil and other farm products. Father the farmer. 

He loved good furniture and he would show us how to use Silvo to clean silver plated items, bravo for brass and other cleaning supplies appropriately. Father the cleaning expert. 

He along with mother showed and planted with us different flowers and fruit trees, they made us know their names and nature. Flowers like cocks comb, Jonnie Walker, after eight o'clock, Ixora, touch and die etc became household names as we discussed them all the time. He supervised the planting of trees, cross planting and other aspects of tree propagation. Father the Agriculturalist.

Mother treated father like royalty from the get go, when she prepared his food, it was like a wedding party, everywhere would be alive with activities and the aroma of the food would fill the air. 

The steward Jimmy from the Midwest even made it worse, "Master's plate, Master's cutlery, Master's this and that. He would run around like a headless chicken till Master arrived and was served. 

Father in turn treated mother like his queen. We also never saw him raise his voice at mother for once till mother passed. He agreed with her 99% of the time. 

Father went to live in Lokpanta as soon as he turned 50 and never laboured a day again in his life. Yes he is that organised and disciplined, he says it and he does it. 

He created specific days for the family banquet where everyone was allowed to let their guard down. You would have your choice of wine but not without being told by father that white wine goes with fish and you don't speak with food in your mouth. Did he really let us really let our guard down? Lol

Before the meal by the way, father would have addressed us, told us his plans for the year, his budget and all, he would also listen to what some of us had to say. Our family was his kingdom, he, our king and we, his subjects. 

He would get us to pray and sing the Credo by heart. Oh how I miss those days! Mother would have cooked her heart out, rolling out the best chicken curry sauce garnished with peanuts and fresh red peppers. Nsala soup and freshly pounded yam and other smaller dishes and her signature fruit salad. 

Father was hard yet he had a very soft and funny side, till date he has a hanger filled with old clothes and shoes, he says he won't get rid of them now so we can keep ourselves busy packing them when he's no more. Lol

Father was once stopped by the FRSC, his driver failed to tell him that the fire extinguisher had expired and when the FRSC men wouldn't stop making trouble dad told them that he reserved the right to set himself on fire if he chose to. Lol

This post should have come yesterday but I had a lot of fun on behalf of daddy and was tipsy by the time I was ready to write. He turned 86 years old on Thursday the 31st of August his second birthday as a widower. 

We were worried about him when mother passed because he said the plan was for him to go first. But he's still here and recently became a great grand father. 

This is to wish him a very blessed new age, and to appreciate him for taking up the role of a mother after mother passed. He tries everyday to close the gap and prays just as much for us as mother used to and he's doing a fantastic job looking after us.  

We love you too much daddy, you are truly our hero. Long live Igwe Ferdinand Eke

Udumeze II of Lokpanta

Pictures of Father