Big Fat Lie!

Kamara had always wanted to be a boy, she is in the middle of two brothers and maybe that contributed to her desire to be male. She often wondered why she couldn’t remove her top whenever she felt hot like the boys; and when she got older why she couldn’t smoke openly like the boys.

All her friends were guys and she often helped them when they wanted to get close to any girl, she actually spoke to the girls for some of the boys and on many occasions she was successful.

It was all an act in the beginning, she spoke to the girls and would not give up till she succeeded; she would usually put herself in the boy’s shoes and tried her best to speak to the girl in the manner that the particular boy would.

Gradually she started to feel some form of jealousy; she was never chased, none of the boys ever showed interest in her. That wasn’t her problem though; she found that she got jealous over the girls whenever they started hanging out with the boys.

One Saturday afternoon, Kamara was chilling in her friend  Jide’s room while Jide was out to get some provisions, then came Vivi, the girl she helped Jide hook. They exchanged pleasantries and got into a discussion; from campus life to politics and relationships. Kamara kept fighting a strange feeling within; she wanted to kiss Vivi so badly.

That was her first time of ever feeling such and it disturbed her greatly.  After then the feeling was more frequent, she always had her heart skip whenever she was close to some fellow girls.

Is this what lesbianism feels like? She hated the way she felt and quickly looked for a solution; she spoke to her big sister who advised her to first stop acting like a boy. She adhered to the advice but felt lost in the world. She hates to wear skirts and dresses and always feels trapped in them.

She still battles what she feels for other women and has recently resorted to prayers. It is now a family issue and Kamara’s mother feels that it is a spiritual attack; her father thinks it is a phase that she will outgrow. However, Kamara knows deep down that she would feel this way for a very long time; she has also decided to accept that she was created that way and is planning to start living life the way that she was made (big fat lie). She is having double-minds though because of the moral and legal implications. ( Legal ke? When bobrisky is still a freeman).

Moral? Yes, this is an important factor to consider. In my opinion, homosexuality is just wrong; nothing good can ever come out of it. Flee from it my dear and never look back.

*Please note that fictitious names have been used for privacy sake*