Dear Lilea's Blog I can't say it

Dear Lilea’s Blog,

You are doing a really good job in this space. Reading Lilea’s blog is my best way to relax.

I am a twenty eight year old married woman and I have been married for exactly five years. My children and I spent the last Christmas holidays in South South part of the country with my mother in law and I found out a secret about her.

It is a big house over there, and one evening while I sat watching the television with my children, my mother in law was at one corner of the large living room speaking to someone over the phone. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but I heard her tell the person at the other end that she couldn’t wait to see him. (Of course it was a man)

Something told me that it wasn’t my father in law who had travelled just the day before; I felt funny about what I heard and I knew that something just wasn’t right.

She got her grandchildren and I to go visit her sister the following day; we were home three hours before she got back during which time her house maid told me that she was out with her boyfriend. She told me what time she would get home and that I should take a walk at that time and confirm her story.

As I walked out of the gate, I saw my mother in law come out of a very sleek car dressed casually but beautifully in a black top and a pair of black jeans; she looked ten years younger. She asked me to come and meet her business partner, there was no need guessing, I could tell that they were more than business partners.

Now here’s why I am writing you, I had a minor argument with my husband recently over a dress I wanted to wear to a birthday party with the children and he called me a prostitute. He is a very good man but cannot control his bad mouth. I gave a quick response “like your mother” and I got a very hot slap which made me say more things.

He says I must say everything I found out about his mother during my stay with her. We have long made up but he hasn’t dropped the matter. My mother in law is the nicest woman I have ever come across and the last thing I want to do is hurt her in any way but I do not know how to come out of this mess. The sort of information about his mother would kill my husband, he loves her too much. i just can't say it.

Here’s my take – It’s simple, just don’t say anything and let him know that you are not saying anything because you have absolutely nothing to say. You acted in anger and that was all that you could think of that would hurt him as much as he hurt you by his own words.