Her Happy Button

Photo credit: citifmonline.com

Women are still trending and I have a couple of ideas of what the men may do to celebrate us.

The very first on my list is, wash her under wears, teeheehee! A couple actually had a big fight over this issue, the lady said she always washed her husband’s vests and boxers but when she fell ill and couldn’t wash her panties, the lord of the home vehemently refused to help do this very personal chore. According to him, it is an abomination for a titled man to wash his wife’s under wears.

They were both very angry at each other and also felt quite insulted. Lol. Please do not ask me whose side I was on. The woman threatened fire and brimstone and said she would never touch her husband’s under wears ever again. The solution I gave them was simple, “get a washing machine and throw everything in it” the machine is programmed to do the job without complaining. 

This couple’s case is the situation in many homes in our society; some men will rather drink poison than wash their wives’ panties. Such men will rather throw the panties away with the water and buy new ones, I can tell you that for free.

So what is the big deal? It doesn’t bite; it is only a piece of clothing. Someone I know laughed so hard at a girl he briefly dated when she asked him to do the impossible. He simply asked her to go tell her native doctor that the jazz did not work. Haha! 

A big shout out to the washers out there, keep washing bro and you will surely get your reward. My take on this is “the panties are like the curtains at the entrance of a room, if you can move them to gain access into the room, then washing the curtain for a better grooming of the room area shouldn’t be a problem”. 

Moving on, if she is employed, please do not let her run errands around the house when she gets back from work, do not ask her to get you your food, get her something to eat instead, let her take a warm bath and go to bed early.

Surprise her with a gift, buy sexy lingerie and ask her to give you a lap dance, take her out to breakfast, lunch or dinner and just let her rest from cooking for at least one month. (some men will just starve to death.lol)

I’m in no way trying to undermine the role of a woman in the family, what I want to do as a matter of fact is to let the men know how important it is to make sure that the woman is around for the long haul. A burnt out woman has a negative impact on the home, everything ceases to work. Our new society sometimes makes it almost impossible for the woman to get the necessary amount of rest.

Every woman loves this next idea; pay an unprecedented amount of money into her account for no reason at all. This particular act yields extraordinary results. Months after, you will still be reaping the fruits of this singular labour of love. It makes up for a large number of atrocities. Do not be fooled though, there is an expiry date to this gesture and if you dare commit any offence outside your grace period, you will have yourself to blame for any negative outcome!

Money does not cover bad behaviour and I will never want to be seen as making such a notion, money is just good to have and there is nothing more romantic than generosity. If a man blesses his wife with some money as a way of clearing the path for infidelity, it is total bunkum and if you are caught, it is double jeopardy; you lose your money and you lose your wife or at best lose her trust.

Help a woman carry a shopping bag, give up your seat for a lady, stand up for a woman who is being bullied, visit your mother, sister, kind aunty, grandma or a female friend who may be lonely. Let a woman get on your lane while driving. Just show us some love and attention.

When last did you lift your wife? Do not say that she is too heavy now, just eat really well, call an ambulance and then lift her up. If you have a slim wife, lucky you!

Tell your daughter, sister, mother, wife or girlfriend that you love her. The happier the women, the happier the family and the happier the family, the happier the nation. The truth is that women are so easy to please, just find her happy button, press it and have yourself a very joyful weekend.