"That Thing"

Photo credit: knowyourmeme.com

Years back when hubby and I were young and vibrant we had "something" for our moonlight play. It was so good that we replaced it with two more after losing it on one of our trips. Even when we moved on from it, out of love we still kept it safely away instead of disposing it permanently. 

I mean "that thing" was very useful, we had no issues at all in that area only that we were young and adventurous. It wasn't a Samantha or a John and it was in no way a replacement for hubby's machine gun. There's no resemblance and it was made to be abstract but "that thing" was a pleasure provider. Lol

Fastfoward to yesterday many years after, I asked Nnaemeka to get a document from his father's wardrobe. He holds our special something up, "mum what's this?" OMG! I had even forgotten all about our little companion. I nearly passed out from shock.

You should have seen my face and heard my heart beat. My chest was going up and down and I tried unsuccessfully to put up an act. Not sure of what to say I began to shout "keep it back, I said keep it back!!!" 

Looking confused my soon to be 17 year old son says "mummy is it a bad thing?" I kept quiet thinking of how to get myself out of that awkward moment. He repeats, this time in Igbo like he was sure his mother suddenly could not understand English "o ife ojoo?" (Is it a bad thing?) I got my voice back and Just started lying. 

"You know daddy is managing his sugar level and sometimes his fingers get numb and that helps him. (Vic will kill me) I mean the vibration on that gadget brings life back to his fingers". I was actually stammering. With a smirk on his face he says okay.

I've not recovered from the embarrassment and I have a feeling he knows what that thing is. Perharps I gave myself away by screaming. This parenting thing gets tougher.

On my social media page, some friends said I should sit him down and tell him the truth about "That thing"

How will the conversation go? Nnaemeka, that thing you saw is actually erm...erm...daddy and I ..... or Nnaemeka this is called ...... married couples use it for....use it for what exactly?

I honestly do not think I will have that conversation with him. It's one of those things my boys will have to find out on their own. In my opinion it's not going to add any value to his life so I'll pass. 

If I discuss it, will I tell him it's good or bad? I don't support that arrangement anymore so the talk will be one sided.

Another thing that comes to mind is that some couples may be comfortable with sex toys and it doesn't make them less of Christians as long as it's within the confines of their matrimonial sanctuary.

If you consider it a sin please let God be the judge of that as for me, I'm not sure if it's right or wrong. Those days are gone for hubby and I yet we still have our ginger. That's right!

For those doing the whole sex education thing please dont forget to make "That thing" a topic on its own. A different kind of sex education If you ask me.

Lauryn Hill's song Doo Wop playing in my head right now.