I have won a Battle

Photo credit: booj.com

When I started to write, I had no idea what I was getting into. It rapidly became a part of me and I realised that the more I wrote the better I got and the more addicted I became.

Initially I would stay up till 3am everyday just to put something out there to my readers. It was so important to me to write everyday that each day I missed  got me depressed for a day.

When the accolades started to come I became more committed to satisfy those who believed in me. People who knew me personally would send a message or even call to ask why I didn't send their daily dose. Yes, most refer to my blog posts as their daily dose. Isn't that amazing?

At some point I began to ponder about my life and how I got to the point where I would write and people will not only read but also enjoy reading it.

I had lost out at an interview in the past because the essay I wrote did not match my oral performance.

My essay was below standard I was told and so I did not get the job. I felt horrible afterwards and felt I could never get it right.

Some years ago, part of my job was to sit at a managerial meeting every other week where my role was to take minutes. To say that I hated that era of my life is to say the least. I hate to sit and write down what people are saying because half of the time I don't pay attention.

Any meeting that lasts more than an hour where there are no power point presentations to me does not make sense. I always saw in them top managers trying to out- report or speak better than the next person. Lol!

Initially I was commended for bringing substance into the minutes but shortly after like there was a release of a wicked spell and I started to suffer a series of verbal abuses over my minutes.

I was repeatedly made to stand over some managers while they corrected their portions of the minutes. After the abuse some would say to me it's to help you, yeah right.

Play forward to now,  I've trained myself to see the good in everything that happens in my life regardless of how negative they appeared in the beginning. I try to take the positives and move right ahead.

So I guess all the criticisms I got from my writings motivated me to keep going. A lot of  times I write and edit all by myself and I'm still able to put out posts with minimal or manageable mistakes.

I've forgiven all those who talked down on me; into the deeper parts of my being and left me feeling....like sticking out my tongue at them and saying to them "shove it up your #$@"

This is my first post after a week and it's in no way a declaration of my achievement as a writer. It simply means that I battled depression for a week. Thanks to baby brother's wedding, it helped me pull through. I started to write while on the road trip back to Lagos and found myself thinking of how far I've come on this journey.

When people ask me to write them something for a fee I let out a smile of victory. When someone sends an inbox to say I made her smile by what I'd written, my smile of victory comes on my face. 

When real friends offer to edit some of my work from their busy schedules just because they believe in me, I know I have won a battle over my insecurities caused by years of heavy constructive and sometimes mischievous criticisms. I do not relax however, my battle gloves are always on, I will push till I do not have to introduce myself.

One other thing I learnt is to accept every feed back no matter how ludicrous. 

I recently had to go back to my blog posts when someone said I'm too explicit when I write about sex. And another said I write about sex more often than other topics and insinuated that I promote it.

I couldn't believe that the second person was talking about me. Lol!

This quest for heaven is real and a personal race but I'm sure of one thing a lot of people will be shocked to see some people in heaven while they are on their way to meet their uncle Lucif. Lol!

A final word to anyone needs to hear it, do not let hurtful words or situations from the past stop you from having a go at anything at all in life!