Un-Sexy

Photo credit: br.pinterest

I was with a friend recently and we discussed and laughed over several issues: the television was on and as we conversed and sipped our drinks an advert came up which had a really beautiful girl in it and my friend casually hissed. 

When I jokingly asked why she was envious of the girl on TV, my friend said that the girl reminded her of how she looked as a young girl. Then that one issue that bothers many women started.

She went on to complain that she had been struggling with her weight since she had her last baby.

She didn't stop there, she raised her t-shirt and showed me her protruding stretch marks ridden stomach and I couldn't help but burst into laughter.

My friend is quite funny and a delight to spend time with. She makes light of any situation. She didn't stop at the stomach exposure; "Amaka see my breasts" before I could ask her not to, Jiugo (not real name) had exposed what looked like breasts to me right there in the living room.

The laughter ceased on my face as I stared devoid of all emotional intelligence at the ugliest breasts ever. I thought I had seen it all; but those things before me were capable of breaking a home.

"Jiugo" I called out still in shock, what are those? I was genuinely concerned but then it was my silly friend's turn to laugh. She said the look on my face was epic.

I was truly worried while she kept laughing till she started shedding tears. 

I asked her if her husband still touched them and deep within me I felt sorry for the man who is also a very good friend of mine.

I voiced it out and asked her if that was what she served my brother. Mbanu! I don't support any form of cosmetic surgery but this time, I'll contribute to this "save a marriage" cause.

Jiugo's six year old son came at that point to ask for something and she jokingly called him big head and blamed him for her "ala slippers" (flipflop breasts).

I had to come to the little boy's defence although he was oblivious of our conversation, he quickly ran back to continue to play with my son.

I asked how long she breastfed the boy and she said nine months exclusive breastfeeding. I asked of her three older children and she said same; four multiplied by nine, so thirty-two months altogether.  I then asked her how long she has been breastfeeding her husband. The silly girl answered and said fourteen years and counting. Counting what?!!!! Please subtract the duration of the sagged bobibos. Lol!

I told her that her husband was responsible for those damaged body parts. But really, I applaud all the good men who still love us and treat us well regardless of our sudden disabilities. Hahaha!

Most women go through a lot after marriage especially with childbirth. A lot of things change in us and some start to feel inadequate. If you can work  on it without going under the knife please do. But only if you have a deserving husband.

However, if your husband rubs it on your face all the time about your weight, strechmarks, big tummy or sagged bobibos please do not lose sleep over it. Remind him that his tummy was once flat and the altar call used to last longer.

Me: my strechmarks or any other scared body part does not bother me. Although I sometimes say to myself that if I were a man I wouldn't woo me, lol, I'm still grateful that those marks are there to remind me that I'm alive after all I've been through, I may be fat, scarred or un-sexy but I'm alive.

I celebrate all the women who have one or two body scars. I also celebrate the men who love us just the way we are. We love you right back just the way you are😙

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