Cork the Bottle

Photo credit: correctng.com

 

The fear of school fees is the beginning of contraception. I am quite positive that those who produce or sell artificial contraceptives are currently experiencing low sales in Nigeria.

The reason is that there are other natural methods that work better than the artificial ones. The state of the economy has really affected a lot of marriages in Nigeria, couples are not always happy anymore which definitely affects the mood at home. A hungry man they say is an angry man.

Some may argue that it is in lack that more browsing happens (borrowing the word of a female pastor in a video that is making the rounds now). They say that when there is no money the next thing close to happiness is to do the do. This may be true for the ignorant minority who do the do with recklessness.

I say this because those who are more affected by the economy are the ones who have several children that they are not able to take care of. Such people are quick to say that God who brought the children will take care of them; they forget that heaven helps those who help themselves which is why God created a season for doing without conceiving.  They do not even understand their bodies and so are not able to tell when to engage in full browsing or half browsing. That is ignorance to me. It is important to know when to stop! Those who are aware do not need any sermon on the need to close the shop and cork the bottle. 

When the ladies gather, we discuss all these issues and how we deal with the situation we have found ourselves in. I know how challenging it is for us and a lot of other parents to pay school fees and do other things for our children. A few weeks ago I was almost very rude to a lady who said she wanted to have another baby after three children. I am all for more children but not when the reason is flimsy like “no, three is not befitting”. Again coming from someone who constantly bothers other people for financial assistance, that felt like an insult. 

Without a doubt, the cost of living is by no means the only reason to have just enough children, the health aspect of it comes in as well and the more children a woman bears, the more risks she takes because childbirth is no child’s play.

Personally I love to have babies and the anticipation of the new baby excites me; I would spend time praying for the baby and imagining how he would look and if he would look better than the last. Pregnancy and childbirth were reasonably very easy for me till my last experience but I will be lying if I say that I do not sometimes think of trying one more time to see if I would give birth to a beautiful baby girl.

I am very good with the hair and once in a while I get sad that I do not have a daughter whose hair I would style. I love panty hose and so whenever I realise that I do not have a girl to buy a pair panty hose for, I wear one myself. I am myself’s little princess and which explains why I still act very young. Lol! I am my only girl and the boys treat me just like that – an only girl, maybe if I had a daughter that would look up to me I could have tinny winny grown up some more.

Recently after I let myself be cajoled into thinking that a woman without a daughter is like a tree without fruits, I started to nurse the idea of having another baby without thinking of all the things that come with having a newborn baby. 

First the nine months of physical, mental and emotional rollercoaster that the body would go through; then the labour pains, the pushing or the caesarean section, the birth of the baby and then the healing. Thereafter, the next stages of the sacrifices; the sleepless nights, sore nipples which will only heal if you continue to breastfeed, the pain when the innocent baby latches on to the breast touches the brain. In severe cases, mastitis, where the breasts are so engorged yet the milk will not flow and you have to stand under a hot shower crying in pains and there is no one to say sorry to you.

Burping the baby after each meal which may be up to ten times in a day for exclusive breastfeeding and checking the baby at intervals to be sure that he is still breathing. Having to think for the baby and trying to understand what makes him uncomfortable or happy and if he is coming down with an illness. To miss all the fun outings because there is a baby who needs your attention and the worst of it all, trying to get back in shape.

The post natal depression that everyone fails to acknowledge will then set in with the hubby bearing the worst of it. I did not think of all these before trying to trick hubby into having a princess like I am in the sperm to determine which chromosome goes in. Little did I know that hubby had turned into a calculator of safe periods and so when I tried to play Eve on him he refused to be Adam. In fact he used pillows to make a bridge between us and no blackmail from me could shake him. Later on in the day he sent a video of pastor browser and I saw it as an invitation to treat. I quickly asked if he wanted to browse and for the first time he said emphatically no. The text came in capital letters “NO”. Writing this post is a way of knocking myself back to my reality that five boys are definitely enough for me. 

As for Victor, I will pay back during the safe kpomkwem (period).