Kayan Mata

Photo credit: stearsng.com

Hubby came out of the bathroom and one look at me in a sexy lingerie he became suspicious, he suspected that I wanted to lure him into having another baby and so he just knelt down, prayed, jumped into the bed and turned his back on me.

As I was trying to get my sexy on he started snoring. I could never tell if the seed worked or not.

Second attempt I was given some blended seeds to mix in water and drink. I was also given a liquid substance to apply somewhere.

If hubby had seen me carrying out all the instructions honestly he would have thought I had gone diabolical; I kept on peeping and checking the door to be sure he wouldn’t see me doing all that I was doing. So that night was hot and just like my instructor said it would go it exactly did. Honestly I felt like I had used jazz on my poor hubby.

I was definitely going to try again and so at the right time I went into the bathroom for the ritual after consuming the powdery one that I was asked to add to watermelon. I couldn’t wait for the part two of the previous night.

For some strange reason, when hubby came to bed, we got into an argument, need I say that the night did not quite go as planned. I was left high and very ……

The next day out of frustration I threw the remaining substances into the trash. I was done, the kayan mata failed me yet again.  I was not warned that with the kayan mata you lose every right to be upset, you laugh at every joke and say yes to everything, with the kayan mata, a woman has just one focus – to get her groove on and you dare not let anything get in the way. I learnt the hard way.

After I severed all ties with the kayan mata, along came Mary with her own success story of the kayan mata. I guess that when you marry the love of your life, you jump at every opportunity to give him more even when he has never complained.

This time it was triangular shaped candies and another sweet jelly like substance, she convinced me that I would experience the python dance on another level. I always believed that I had outgrown my curiosity but it got the best part of me on that day and I found myself chewing and licking the sweets like a little girl.

As I prepared for the okokobioko, I got this sharp pain in my abdomen, “no it wasn’t happening, this couldn’t possibly have triggered my ulcer” I was still thinking when the second pain came and then it progressed. I started to scream in pain and when hubby asked if I had eaten anything I wasn’t supposed to eat, I said no and prayed that he wouldn’t notice that I was lying through my teeth.

I went straight to bed after the pain subsided, I had to endure the pain without any medication because I wasn’t sure if what I had consumed was compatible to my medication. That night I trashed the rest of my friend’s gift to me and said a final good bye to the kayan mata. The Karma sutra is sure safer.lol

Some people still swear by the kaya mata, Nana my brother from Ghana cannot do without the roots, he says he grew up eating the roots which is a family tradition and he claims the roots make him a stallion in every way. When he visits home, he takes a long supply of the roots back to base and he will pass on the miracle of the roots to his son.

My friend bought a drink called the stallion fly for men and asked hubby to drink, she had taken the one for the female and was ready to hang on the fan, but her darling hubby took a good look at the pack, scrutinised it and read all the information provided on the body.

After he was done he looked at the wife and said to her that he would like to live long. Hahaha! For those who are still curious and those who have tried, tested and are converted, by all means, please keep at it if it works for you as fot me and my family we shall stick to what we know. One advice to the Kaya matans, please use only the externally usable ones and avoid the processed ones especially the sweets. Next stop is the Karma Sutra.