Letter to the bad Ex

Still on the matter of love - bad love as the case may be.

LETTER TO THE BAD EX

You left me broken but now I’m fine on my own.

When you left me, you left a weak woman, a woman who was frail and ingenuous, a woman who did not know her worth. 

I wanted you back; I cried. I wished that you will see through my heart how much I loved you.

I called; you were busy yet I hung on to you. Direct messages, tags and wall posts – ignored! 

I sent words through your friends- no reply. 

You didn’t want me back. 

You had other options; I had none. 

All I had was you because you were all I wanted to have.

It hurt even more because everyone knew the story, our story. 

I waited too long but did not hear from you, I gradually started to heal. 

I eventually stopped calling, stopped caring and even stopped remembering. 

I began to realize how fun my life used to be, how occupied I could be…with meaningful things, how resourceful I could be. 

I had a life, a life I had left unattended because I was too busy living yours. 

I had friends, friends who had become quite distant because your friends had become my friends. 

I was always too busy with you. I gave my entire life to you. Sadly, that wasn’t enough reason for you to want to stay.

You ought to have known that  reaching out to you for your forgiveness was a self-made decision. 

I really did not need you but I wanted you. And I wish you had respected that by giving me the courtesy of a reply. 

I know you must have thought that your silence will damage me, even kill me. But no, it taught me to love myself enough to not be your fool. 

It taught me to lean on me - a great life lesson. And on your part, it was only an act of cowardice.

That worry has left my face_ the worry your absence caused.

Yes, I have let it wear out; I glow now and you have seen it! It is spectacular to you because it reminds you of how beautiful I was, how classy, free and unperturbed I was, before you met me and took it all away.

Now, what I feel is not emptiness but a genuine sense of liberty. 

I had imagined that life would be meaningless without you but it has become even more purposeful. And that’s the most beautiful thing about life.

I have learned to live without loving you. You should have known that if you would ever want someone back, you should never let them get used to living without you.

You will no longer hear me talking about you. And I know that henceforth, any positive news about me will cause strange troubles in your stomach. 

You will wish that I’d remain miserable but we both know that such will never the case. 

My successes will blind you. You will never really stop spying on me; your guilt will constrain you to that level. 

And someday, you will grow so lonely amidst all your company that the only person you would really want to be with is me. 

Well, I wouldn’t be there. Good riddance.

Written by Pinkchelli