Mother-in-love

Amalunwaeze

The first time I met her I was quite nervous because I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was at that stage in my life when I needed approval for certain things. I was just twenty years old and still very naïve in some areas of life.

More so, meeting her meant that things were going to a higher level between Victor and I which I was uncertain about. I had also heard that she was very blunt and could hurt my feelings by her honest opinions of me.

She looked at me from head to toes, nodded at my greeting and immediately faced her son who she was obviously very happy to see. She asked the waiter in her restaurant to serve us oxtail pepper soup which till date is the best I ever tasted. After I took the first scoop of the pepper soup, I threw every decorum to the wind and demolished the delicacy savouring every second of that moment.

It could be my last time in her restaurant so I might as well enjoy that plate of heavenly bliss in front of me. I washed my hands well, dipped it into my plate and picked up a large piece of oxtail, oh la la la! it was delicious, tender and succulent. I loved her immediately even if it was for that singular reason.

Then she asked what my name was and I replied, “Amaka”, “Amaka, onye ebee?” (From where?). Amaka from Lokpanta was my next reply. Ayeee! O gin ka m melu umuazia? (What did I do to these children that none of them will bring an Onitsha girl to me?)

It was meant to be an awkward moment and that was what I was warned about but when I heard Victor’s laughter I also burst into a loud one and she also started to laugh. She went on to joke that at least she could understand me.  Her other son was head over heels in love with a young lady from a totally different tribe and she was already shopping around for a translator for the family. Lol! The rest of the evening was easy, a short while later, restless Victor was ready to go and we had to bid Amalunweze goodbye.

After a while I decided on my own to visit Amalunweze again, it was important to know how it would feel to visit her without her son. I mentioned it to Victor who was far away in Lagos and he okayed it, with butterflies in my tummy I left home. I carefully avoided mentioning to mother that I was going to visit another woman and possibly be running errands for her that I was forced to do at home.

I wasn’t sure of my next move after we exchanged pleasantries and I was certain that she was amused by the discomfort that she caused me. As hard as she tried to act like she did not care if I was there I knew that she did. For lack of what to do I asked her to let me peel the rest of the yam that she was peeling.

I quickly got to work but was startled all of a sudden by her shouts of ayee olee!!!!! I held the knife up and my eyes were wide open, I wasn’t sure of what I had done wrong till she started asking if that was how I peeled yam. She said I should please give her back her yam before I wasted all the yam.

I just found the whole scenario amusing and I laughed; I guess the love I had for her son blinded my eyes to any negativity. She peeled the rest of the yam and made me wait for soup to be ready so I could eat some. It was yet another masterpiece.

Her bluntness was her virtue; she called a spade a spade and was never shady about anything. She was not judgmental and accepted people the way they were. With her I was just myself, I did not have to worry about being criticised and she was extremely generous.

A few years after I met her, I married her son and became her daughter, she explained to me why she made the statement she did the first day that we met; she told me that the reason parents want their children to marry from the same town is just to make things easier. I did not understand then but now I do; Lokpanta is a two hour journey from Onitsha without the bad roads, both families had never met each other, we all had to learn to accept the traditional differences which both families found weird.  Victor’s mother did not attend my traditional wedding and we learnt that it was the custom of the Onitsha people. She had to stay home to welcome me.

The risk of travelling in the night all the way from Lokpanta to Onitsha was another reason that I would later deduce from Amalunweze’s statement. Years later when another son of hers fulfilled her wishes by getting married to a beautiful young lady from Onitsha I saw that we were not under pressure to travel to any location, we were already home and the risks were minimised.

When I birthed my first child, guess who left everything behind and came dancing into my room in the hospital? Amalunweze. Mother was busy with her son’s wedding and Victor’s mother rose to the occasion.

When I had to go back to the hospital in pains, guess who was holding my hands while telling that I would be fine? Amalunwogalanya.

Who held my cranky baby and made me get as much sleep as needed? Amalunwanneukwu.

She was so good to me; she would literally give me a hot bath and made sure that I was quickly back in shape. I will never forget the purple colour of the potassium permanganate that she put in piping hot water and dabbed my paradise with. I remember squeezing my face from both embarrassment and pain and she would say, “biko mepee ukwu” (please open your legs) followed by a hiss. As soon as she was done with me, she would go straight into the kitchen and cook up a storm.

After getting dressed and smelling all fresh with baby powder, she would have the housemaid serve me delicious signature Onitsha ofe nsala na azu ndu(white soup and fresh fish) and fresh chicken with freshly pounded yam. Did I mention that she would have looked after my baby all night and given him a birth earlier that morning? She made the first few months after childbirth a walk in the park for me.

With the birth of every child of mine, Amalunweze was there and she looked after us with joy. Even while her health failed her she was still there. I will never forget how she came into the bedroom in faraway Tennessee and asked why I wouldn’t go shopping with my sisters. She refused to accept my reason that I had to take care of the twins, she concluded that I was just managing my funds and handed a ridiculous amount of money to me and asked me to go and have fun with my sisters. I had tears in my eyes and a certain friend of mine who was there could not believe that such a thing could happen with someone’s mother in law.

We had our frictions naturally but they were so insignificant, the love we had for each other conquered all. I wanted her to live; I wanted to take care of her the way she took care of me and I am still sad that it never happened.

Exactly this day 2nd November fourteen years ago, on the Catholic commemoration of the faithful departed souls, another beautiful soul was gained in heaven. My beautiful mother-in-love went to be with her maker. I miss her everyday and know without a doubt that life would have been a lot better if she was still here.

I also know that she is in heaven, she had and gave so much love and the only place for her is heaven.

Rest on Anthonia Chineze Nwosisi. Amalunwaeze! Amalunwannukwu! Amalunwaogalanya! We miss you still.