Ijego

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Bede is a married man who has been with his wife Ijego for fifteen years.  Bede and Ijego met at the bank: she was a cashier then and they became friends because she always attended to him with a lot of courtesy each time he came for a transaction. Bede was a junior staff of the account department in an oil and gas firm and he was always at the bank to pay in money on behalf of his company.

When Ijego got a promotion, Bede was the first person she shared the good news with because they always discussed their jobs and how they would one day rise through the ranks. It pleased Bede that Ijego was happy to share her good news with him and what made it even more special was that her new position did not affect their friendship. She was still so nice every time and would step into the counting room to ensure that Bede was attended to promptly by the person who replaced her.

They were friends for exactly five years before Bede asked her to be his wife. At that time Bede had joined another company and was enjoying a budding career. The first five years of their marriage was bliss. They were like a set of Siamese twins; the only time they were not together was when they were at work.

Bede admitted that the sex was quite good and very frequent and he could count the number of times in those five years that he did not grind his wife; when she was sick and admitted in the hospital for a week and after a miscarriage when the doctor asked them to desist from too much grinding. The other times were the periods of recuperation from childbirth although they never waited as long as they were advised to.

Their friendship was a celibate one and so when they were finally joined together in Holy Matrimony the young couple had sex like it was going extinct. 

The problem however started in the sixth year of their marriage when Bede realised that he no longer desired Ijego like he did in the past. As hard as he tried, he found it difficult to get it up when they tried to get down. He also began to get irritated with her nakedness and would look for the smallest excuse to leave the bedroom anytime Ijego tried to seduce him. He knew that he needed help because he still loved his wife but could not understand why his lonely body would not just respond to her willing body.

They had three children at that time and he made himself believe that the pressure from taking care of three little children’s needs was taking its toll on him. He obliged Ijego when she suggested that they first visited a doctor who certified that Bede was good. They  went through counselling next and there was nothing to show that the fault was his; he had never cheated on her, still loved her and treated her well but “ikenga” just wouldn’t respond to a “clarion” call.

Gradually their once happy union began to deteriorate till Bede confided in his uncle, Udeogu. It was such a relief to him to hear that Uncle Udeogu experienced such in his marriage but the solution was the most ridiculous thing he ever heard.

Uncle Udeogu asked him to find himself a girlfriend and see the wonders it would do to him, it had been seven months of no action and Bede had started to believe that he had become impotent. His pick was a youth corper in his company; it was obvious that the young lady fancied him and when he developed enough thick skin against guilt he went for her. He did not have to make more than one sentence before the girl got into his car to go for a drink with him. 

He went straight to the point on what he wanted with her, he told her that he was having a rough time at home and needed to cool off. The young lady suggested a place to him and all through the drive to the infamous restaurant in the heart of a bubbly area in Lagos, Bede was nervous for two reasons. He was going to cheat on his wife for the first time and he was not even sure if he would be able to get it up.

After a few glasses of wine, he paid for a room and he could not believe that while the corper tried to unzip his trousers that ikenga was nodding in agreement. He was overjoyed and he sure had a nice time with the lady who made him feel like a man again. He gave her more money than he had planned to and begged her to see him again.

The main surprise for the night was waiting for him at home. When he got back home, he showered and jumped into bed all in a bid to avoid any eye contact with his dear wife although he felt no guilt. An hour later, Ijego came to bed and as soon as she lay on the bed, ikenga started to nod. 

At first Bede was not sure if it was really happening but as soon as he realised that he was indeed getting into the mood again, he quickly grabbed Ijego and showed her that he was still a man. Before dawn they had been at it over four times like two dogs on hit. Ijego called in sick the next day because she hardly slept all night. Bede bought an expensive spirit as an appreciation gift to his uncle for restoring his marriage.

He claims that when he tried to stop his relationship with the corper, he went back to square one with his wife and couldn’t get it up. He recently saw a psychologist privately who told him that what he is going through is normal, she explained to him that the excitement he gets from the other woman helps his libido at home. When he tries to break the relationship, he gets moody which affects his libido negatively.

Bede says that having an extra marital affair has helped his marriage and made his wife a very happy woman. The corper understands that there can never be anything serious between them and keeps their illicit affair as secret as possible. Bede believes that he made a good choice in the corper for his mission and so rewards her handsomely. However he is terrified that this secret may not last forever and he will be in a more serious dilemna.

Me: This may be possible but it doesn’t make it right. Marriage is for better or worse and Bede should be able to live through the worse. Having an affair is a temporary relief which complicates the whole situation. With patience that phase would have passed. I hope his wife doesn’t find out.

PS: All the names used are fictitious for privacy sake