Call her Mummy


Photo credit: bank rate.cim


Someone asked my opinion on the issue raised in the blog post Ukwa. If I would process the breadfruit for mother in law. In response to the question I  relate it to the last post on different stages of marriage. 

This is actually an archaic pre marriage test by some mothers in law to access the aspiring wife.

If I find myself in that situation, I will not say no to my mother in law. I will not say no to my own mother so why will I say no to the mother in law?

Another reason is that I like to try new things. I will get to work immediately however I will not die while doing it. Once I can't handle it anymore, I'll excuse myself.

At the pre marriage stage, ladies should basically adopt  the eye service method. You smile at mother in law's jokes. Call her mummy, courtesy when you greet her and ask if there's anything she wants you to help with.

I'm in no way encouraging ladies to act nice in the beginning and then turn to a monster afterwards. I'm only saying that you don't with the "I'm a tough nut to crack" attitude. Your husbands respect and support are enough.

If mother in law is a wise and good woman, she will understand and acknowledge that you are trying your best to be in her good book. She'll love you for it and then try to make you more comfortable.

For the sake of the man that you love there is no need to be a rebel and possibly pitch a man against his own mother or entire family.

A reader also asked me to write on ways to survive each stage of marriage.

One to five years, this stage is usually a lot easier because the love is still fresh except for those who married for other reasons. Just keep complimenting each other and learn how to deal with new discoveries that are not harmful.

Six to ten years, both spouses should find interesting things to do together; if not they will start to drift apart. Wives become occupied with child bearing and care of the children and the husband is working harder to earn more money for his growing family. It's easy to focus on other things which may cause the marriage to break down.

Ten to fifteen years couples should definitely get more adventurous to keep it together. They are too used to each other and may stay happily together for months without even cuddling. I highly recommend weekend getaways. Check into a descent  hotel some weekends and enjoy the wildest time of your life. Let loose and feel like a girl on a date with a new bloke.

From twenty years and above, it's almost the same as the ten to fifteen years.  The only difference is that tortilla may still not respond in a new and romantic environment. Lol!

At some stage in marriage, it's no longer only about love; love will make you stick together but money may keep you bubbling. It becomes a big motivator and some women may even start to practise "pay as you go" in the "oza" room.

Marriage is sweet but not without challenges and it's no game for the faint hearted.

4 Comments

  1. Really beautiful & insightful writeup Amaka....welldone nne!

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  2. ������ nice piece from Amaka as usual. Stage 10 to 15 years. Which Amaka described as "
    Ten to fifteen years couples should definitely get more adventurous to keep it together. They are too used to each other and may stay happily together for months without even cuddling. I highly recommend weekend getaways. Check into a descent  hotel some weekends and enjoy the wildest time of your life. Let loose and feel like a girl on a date with a new bloke"■■■ I don't understand how they would even stay 1 week without cuddling and action,not to talk of months?�� Are they doing brother and sister? That can be very very dangerous. �� you know what happens when you pump water into the water tank and its over fillledl? It overflows. ��. How do you want him to be walking about with over full tank? It's not good for his mental sanity and balancing his physiological and emotional equilibrium. See, anytime the pulpit is ready, the master (preacher) will appear. The problem is getting the pulpit at home ready. So it becomes rhe masters duty to get the pulpit always ready and in top shape. Don't allow your pulpit fall apart or over labour. Otherwise,excuse go plenty ���� Then preacher should be healthy and adopt healthy practises and lifestyle that keep him on fire and bubbling 24/7.

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  3. You know I always say if a couple can pass the first 5 years of marriage, then they can go through other challenges that life throws at them and will scale through. The first 5 years tells a lot about marriage and survival, you find these young ones of today are not patient enough to withstand the pressures that comes in the first 5 years. I wonder if mothers have failed in their duties to lecture them like our mothers did then, I can still remember my mum telling me on my traditional marriage, “my daughter don’t ever remove the cloth called patience, wear it always even as you sleep, shower, go out, etc don’t worry it will never tear or get dirty to take off” May God continue to bless our mothers who admonished us and mothers that are still doing the same thing for their daughters.

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