Mr. Pee

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Mr. Pee was not just a driver, he was family. I knew him from a very young age; I was in lower primary school and Peter drove my other siblings and I to and fro school every day. He was strict and would warn us seriously if we misbehaved or threw tantrums.

Peter became like a personal assistant to mother; I do not remember him driving her that often because mother loved to drive herself and would usually go ahead of him to events then have him pick us up to the events. Peter would hold mother’s handbags or purses if she was very busy and mother had no fears that he could steal from her.

He knew exactly how mother would react to certain issues and could almost say what she would say or do in any situation. They would gist and laugh so hard at jokes that just the two of them would understand while the rest of us looked at them weirdly.

Peter loved mother and loved my family that he became a part of us, even when he was out of line, mother reprimanded him lovingly and the next minute they were laughing again like friends. Mr. Pee was so close to mother that he confided in her in everything and even when he fell in love with a young girl from Lokpanta mother was the first to learn of it.

He went with mother to Lokpanta a lot that when we learnt of his love interest it did not come as a shock, mother gave her full support and ensured that Peter got married to his heartthrob. Peter was so happy with the young maiden that he married and often joked with mother that his wife was the only good fortune he got from his sojourn to Lokpanta.

His wife Mgbeke was indeed a very beautiful young lady that he was so proud of. God blessed Peter and Mgbeke with children and at some point, he had to move on to other things. Mother still supported him and their friendship continued to grow. Mr. Pee would often visit with his family and I personally found the visits boring because they would discuss village issues and the Nigerian economy; mother and Peter’s wife would speak the Lokpanta dialect and the children would run around the house. The visits were never complete without mother cooking a delicacy for all to eat.

While I was in Enugu tending to mother in her last days on earth, Peter came visiting and I was pleasantly surprised to see him; it had been ages and so it was different from the days when I found his visits boring. I stayed with him and mother all through in mother’s bedroom and I found our conversation not only interesting but quite funny.

At a time, mother needed help to sit up on her bed and as I tried to hold her, she asked me to use her wrapper to cover her legs well because Peter was sitting across her bed and Peter said to her, “mummy what are you covering?” before he could finish his sentence, mother said to him “rijuo nsi onu” (eat a mouthful of poop). We all burst out laughing.

Before Peter left on that day, he promised to return with his wife Mgbeke who would make mother and I a special delicacy of abacha. We looked forward to the visit from Mr. Pee and his wife so we could eat the abacha that Peter’s wife was so good at preparing.

Sadly, on the scheduled day Peter and his wife came as promised but “his mummy” was in a medically induced coma and could neither speak nor eat the abacha as planned, they met a broken me who had to give them the devastating news that mother was critically ill. When she passed, Mr. Pee was fully on ground to offer his services towards the funeral rites of his former boss that he loved so much. He was broken and we could tell although he tried to carry on. Mother was like his backbone and we all knew that no one could fill the gap.

Peter never left the family, he retired back into the family and kept doing what he knew how to do best, big brother became his new bossfriend and it was a smooth transition; he hated to be idle and so he kept busy by offering his services once more to the family that loved him and he loved in return. His interactions with the family was always like a big brother to his younger ones and everyone gave him his due respect and loved him just as mother did.

Fast forward to 2019, four years after Peter’s best friend, mother passed on, Mr. pee found himself in the same place mother was. He was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer and in the same hospital where mother breathed her last, Peter breathed his last.

Life is feeble I dare say, Peter’s death is the beginning of the end of a lifelong friendship. All I remember are the positive times with Peter; how he protected us as he took us to school and back home. How he scolded us to first wash our hand before descending on the hot bread rolls in mother’s bakery upon our return from school. I remember how he would scream mother’s name to alert her that we were being naughty and how he carried her handbag with dignity whenever mother was to busy helping out at functions.

I remember his jokes and his laughter and his funny demeanour. I have no recollection of a single negative thing about Peter and that is exactly my point. Life is to short to dwell on the negatives for when a loved one is no more; the negatives will have no meaning at all.

You have gained a halo Mr. Pee, rest in peace and say me well to mother. She will be happy to share some jokes with you again.