Aunty Bonz

Photo credit: publicdomainpictures.net

Destiny was every young child's kind of aunty; she knew the deal like we would say in those days and could totally relate with everyone regardless of age. She would give out extra coins so easily to little children and was not one of those adults who objected to eating too many sweet things.

She was very beautiful and a head turner with the way that she dressed; I will never forget her black sandals with very high block heels and a lace that she tied up to her knees while rocking any of her mini dresses or short skirts.

She had all colours of sun shades to match her many outfits and never left home without one which gave her the nickname “aunty bonz” (we called sun shades bonz back in the days in Enugu). Aunty bonz had a lot of admirers including the married men who shamelessly drooled over her and as expected most women hated her guts; only the very confident ones had to courage to return her greetings.

She was so pleasant regardless of how any one felt about her; she was extremely friendly. The children loved her because she was never angry with them or complained that they were making noise by her window in the yard where she lived.

She was a confidential secretary and at some point, there was a rumour that she had her boss in a bottle which made him do whatever she asked him to. The boss’s wife traced her to the yard one certain evening and created a scene which could have turned ugly but for the intervention of the mechanics who she always took care of. They came to her rescue and threatened to deal with the woman if she tried any more rubbish.

Mama Obi her neighbor in the yard was so happy about the incident and did not hide it, she told her openly that she had hoped the woman gave her the beating of her life. She seized the opportunity to ask Destiny to leave her own husband alone.

Mama Obi’s husband owned a provision store and had a white Volks Wagon which was mama Obi’s pride. She told anyone who cared to listen that ever since her husband purchased the Volks that aunty bonz would not leave him alone.

Papa Obi quickly intercepted as his wife rained abused on Destiny, he asked mama Obi to stop and not chase away his biggest customer. Destiny patronized his business even when she had no need for his goods. “Mama Obi mechie onu baa n’ulo” (mama Obi shut up and go inside the house) he screamed.

He reminded his wife that when her mother passed, he borrowed all the money he contributed to the funeral from aunty bonz.  He was visibly angry at his wife’s outburst and to prove to aunty bonz that he was loyal to her he led her into her one bedroom apartment while apologizing to her for his wife’s behaviour.

The gist quickly went round that aunty bonz would be sacked after the drama but the gist quickly changed to confirmation that she indeed had her boss in a bottle because shortly after that drama, Destiny relocated to another yard on the same street but this time a two bedroom flat where she did not have to share a bathroom and a toilet. Her level changed and she also got her own Grey Volks Wagon.

Aunty bonz was easily the most popular mature single lady in the neighbourhood in those days, she was kind hearted to a fault and even loaned money to her known enemies.

She had a smile for everyone, sweets for the kids, was a listening ear to rebelling teenagers and a delight to the men. It was also a known fact that she was way in touch with her sexuality.

She bought condoms openly from the local chemist that people started to count how long it would take to buy another pack. About three men visited her frequently interchangeably in the dead of the night in her new home and nobody was sure who her boss was out of the three. People literally kept awake to monitor aunty bonz's midnight guests. 

One thing both friends and foes of aunty bones had in common was their desire for her to get married; so she would be more occupied with her own immediate family and leave their husbands who admired her openly, so children would stop wishing  their mothers were like her. A good number of them wanted her to be genuinely happy with her very own man. for whatever reason, everybody wished her the same thing.

When Destiny started to give out invitation cards for her big day it was like preparing for Nigeria’s independence and people were literally begging to be invited. The story was that she finally decided to settle for a much older man who was extremely rich. the wedding was going to hold by the pool side of a popular hotel in Enugu and no one wanted to miss it.

The story continues…………