The Thief within

I read a really interesting story about a woman who lost her husband’s trust because she did something that almost every woman does. Her husband discovered that she had been inflating their child’s school fees and he took it very badly. Without intending to justify the woman’s action, I must say that it is not such an awful offense that should make the man terribly upset with her.

A lot of women engage in this type of act especially those married to “aka gum”, (stingy men)  it is easier to get something out of the mouth of a lion than to get money from such men. I have a friend who has been married for over twenty years and in all the years, the only way she has ever collected any money from hubby is from inflating the price of tasks she is charged with that require spending money. Her husband is so stingy that he doesn’t even allow her to go to the market just so he will make sure his money is not lost in any way.

If you are a man and you find out that your wife has been inflating the prices of things just to save some money for herself, then you are definitely a "stingo" and deserve to have your money taken by force. Some women, however, are naturally greedy and born thieves, they steal their husbands’ money just to engage in frivolity; they buy expensive handbags, shoes, and wigs just to keep up with the Joneses. Some women steal the money for their families, these are the ones from poor homes who get married just to pay house rent and school fees for their parents and siblings. If such women meet and marry stingy men, it is usually a disaster as the women almost turn to armed robbers in their matrimonial homes. Lol!

When stingy men realize that their wives have been stealing from them they get very upset because they will prefer to be stabbed than their money fall to the ground. A good man will not be so upset if he finds out that his wife has been inflating school fees. He will rather call his wife and have a good talk with her if he is concerned to find out what monetary issues that she has. They will both find a lasting solution to it.

Some women do it anyway even if the husband gives them a steady personal allowance, they try to save for rainy days for their families and these are good women who will declare the money once there is a need. The wicked ones save such money and will never declare it even if someone gets sick.

Another activity that women save money from is going to the market for foodstuff especially when it is bulk buying. A lot of times there would be leftovers from the last purchase but they will still collect the full amount for a new month’s shopping and save the excess. Wise women use these funds while a few spend all foolishly.

If we flip the coin and look into a family where the woman is the breadwinner, we see that some husbands in this category spend the woman’s hard-earned money on other women or alcohol. These men are compound fools.

The important thing in all of these is for men and women to marry their soul mates. With your soul mate you do not have to pretend, your soul mate accepts you with all your flaws and so nothing you do comes as a shock. From the story of the woman who disappointed her husband, I believe she hid a part of herself that was capable of doing such which was a rude shock to her husband.

If a woman siphons her husband’s money with the knowledge that her husband makes a lot of money but does not give her enough then she is well within her rights as a co-owner of the money who deserves access to it in any way. I will never support a woman who sees her husband struggling and still extorts money from him indirectly, such a woman has no love for her man and is capable of killing him.

I do not have to steal my husband’s money and if I ever have to, it shouldn’t be a problem. It is just a matter of “Did you take any money from my suitcase?” and “Yes I did”. Sometimes we go further in the discussion where he tells me what the money was meant for and I tell him what I used it for and we talk about how he will replace it for what he was supposed to use it for. If I still have it, I give it back. There will be no need to lose trust in anybody. If the school fees can wait, I use it for a pressing need and tell him that I would pay it before the deadline, if I am not able to meet the deadline, I let him know. I must admit that it is tough to be a man especially in Nigeria when the woman feels very entitled even if she makes more money than her husband.

I know a lady who is married to a very wealthy businessman who always has a lot of cash to play around with. She steals from him at every opportunity she gets and he would always complain to her that he lost some money. One fateful day, he caught red-handed taking money from his wardrobe, she had the money in her hands and when she turned around to walk out of his room, he was standing right behind her. She was the thief within

When he started to call her a thief, she broke down in tears and accused him of neglecting her and giving more time to his business and she even cooked up an imaginary story about him having a mistress. She said that taking his money for savings kept her sane. The tables turned around immediately and she became a victim and put up the act for about a month. It took a lot of appeasing with more money to get her out of the character that she played so well. Haha!

That act made her husband increase her upkeep. Some may say that the husband could be guilty of what she accused him of or that he is a weak man, however, what I see is a man who will not let monetary issues mess up his marriage to the love of his life.