Who is in charge?

Photo Credit:tallblackonesugar

Who is in charge of the home? Is the breadwinner really in charge of the home? The wife or the husband may be the breadwinner in a home especially in recent times and not like in the days of our parents when the men were mostly the only providers in the home. These days, the title of breadwinner rests on the one who keeps the family afloat financially.

Even when the man is the breadwinner, he does not necessarily call the shots in a home and nature has made the woman be in charge of the home. Any man who understands this usually has peace at home but the man who fails to acknowledge the wife as the ‘officer in charge’ would definitely live a very stressful life.

Nature made it that way and it is not negotiable, a woman has been blessed with her little pot of goodness, and with that, she commands Kings, Commanders, and Rulers of nations. Men bow to the thing between the legs and any woman who has not discovered this is still living in bondage. I often laugh at men when they boast and say silly things like “I call the shots”, really? No sir you only call the shots outside the house, when you get home the real ‘Shots Caller’ takes over.

More men are “pussy whipped” than not which is why you see a man in a toxic relationship with a very bad woman and he clearly cannot get himself out of that situation. Please be patient with such a man for the woman’s honey pot has taken over his sense of reasoning.

Without money a woman already has powers just because of that which she has been endowed with and then when she also becomes the provider in the home, it could be manageable depending on the character of the woman but we know that absolute power is never good. A few women are able to handle being the sole provider without the drama, the rest cannot; it is just too much power for them and they simply cannot handle it.

Some men are quick to make fun of or admonish their fellow men for doing whatever their wives say, they act like they are lord and master in their own homes although it is the absolute opposite, such men are even made to kneel down and beg behind closed doors denouncing their whole lineage just to get a piece of the thing between the legs. To the man who obeys his wife like she is a school principal, when they insult you for being controlled by your wife just tell them that it is okay, only a wise man knows that Adam was under the control of Eve and not the devil when he ate the apple.

When you see a man licking his fingers while eating his wife’s tasteless food, do not be confused for he is not tasting the same thing as you, his own is mixed with honey pot juice. While you do not taste any salt or pepper, the man tastes the right quantity of every flavour plus the spices that you cannot taste, go figure. When a woman is ready to leave the party, the whole family must leave for peace to reign, only a few men will call a woman’s bluff in public. A wise man will quietly appeal to his wife to please exercise more patience if he still wants to spend more time in a place.

A grown and established man can be reduced to nothing by the woman in his life, we hold a very powerful tool as women and a lot of us abuse the power that we have. I have seen men act like cats around women literally scared of the wrath of a woman. I have a problem with women who want the whole world to know that they are in charge and they usually show this by being openly rude to their husbands so everyone will know that they hold both the money and the honey pot. Such women rule till they push the man to a woman who holds the bigger money and a sweeter honey pot then they lose out completely.

It is no longer in doubt that the woman is the real master at home, the very quiet women are even the dangerous ones who act all innocent but know exactly how to twist and wind their husbands thereby making them do exactly only what they want to be done. One of the southeastern governors is well known to be ‘pussy-whipped’, everyone knows that his wife is the boss while he is her servant; she says exactly what happens and it doesn't matter that she never takes the right decisions. My friend Gee, calls the shots in her home and her husband follows her every instruction like his life depends on it; she succeeded in turning him into a very rich man and they are both very happy for it.

Another friend will say she needs her husband’s permission for everything even though we all know that she is only buying time before she takes her decision, whatever she decides to do is acceptable to her husband. That is respect if you ask me. A good woman will discuss with her husband and make sure they are both on the same page on every issue before major decisions are taken. Over 70% of women say who gets what and what is acceptable or unacceptable in the home.

I hate situations where the woman only takes decisions that favour her and has little or no consideration for her husband. Such women have no problem making their husbands look stupid in public.

My advice to women is simple; we are powerful without a doubt, with your honey pot you can either give life or death to your husband so choose wisely what to give. If you find yourself as the breadwinner or the co-breadwinner, please accept it as God’s will and do your bit with every sense of humility.

There is a clause though; if you are the breadwinner or co-breadwinner and married to an unrepentant bad man who does not appreciate what you stand for in the home, please use your powers absolutely and put him in his place, if you do not know how, please come for some advice. I am not one of those women who will say do not use sex as a weapon in your home so you don't push your husband to another woman. That is your weapon, your tool, your treasure, and property and if you can use it to bring sanity to your home, by all means, please do.

I refuse to understand why a woman is expected to open her legs and fake pleasure when she has been made upset by her husband. If I am not happy my whole body will definitely shut down, sex is not just an exercise, it must be done with every part of the body in agreement. A man who will go out in search of sex just because the wife refused to be used as a toy, then the man is not worth the bother.

I know a woman who never lets her husband touch her in months and at a certain time abstained from sex in her marriage for over one year. She was angry that her husband cheated on her so I told her that her action would make him cheat more and advised her to either forgive or divorce him and move on. She said she will never divorce him but will continue to live with him and keep him miserable.

When I spoke to her husband, he admitted that he cheated and had asked for forgiveness. When I asked him how he felt that his wife would not let him touch her, he replied that he would keep begging and hoping that one day she would accept him again and give him a dose of what he has missed so much. He admitted that he still had one or two sidekicks to satisfy his urges but that none tasted like the one he had at home. In his words, "My wife is too sweet and she knows it, that is why she is doing shakara for me". He said he loves her too much and will wait patiently for the day she forgives him. 

This particular man is the sole provider, he takes care of everything but all that he does is geared towards making his estranged wife happy and expecting that she will have a change of heart. Now, who is in charge here?