O no Nso Eru aka

Phoo credit: istockphotos

How do you calm a lonely heart? How do you heal someone hurting from loneliness? Does loneliness hurt? One may ask and yes, it hurts.  The worst form of loneliness is being under the same roof with the one you love yet there is a distance, unspoken words, unquenched desires, and deep longings that will never be satisfied. My people call it “o no nso eru aka” (close but cannot be reached)

 

I won't advise Bekee to walk out of her marriage, after all, we are Africans, a regular African woman is not permitted to leave her marriage, we have been trained to stay and fight. Bekee stayed and still stays to date, fighting and hoping that everything will be alright.

 

Boye had always been that way from when they dated but Ego thought he was just childish and would change as he got older. She had no problem apologizing to him if he was wrong and he would decide when to accept the apology and forgive her. After they got married, he remained the same and as he got older it got worse; Boye would get upset at the slightest provocation and bear a grudge for the longest possible time.

 

He would ignore her in public places which he knew embarrassed her; once he walked up to her after a church service where she stood with their kids saying hello to friends, he played with the little ones who were obviously happy to see him completely ignoring his wife who spoke to him to cover up the friction between them. He looked at her disgustingly and walked away.

 

He had asked her to move out of their home a couple of times for very weird reasons. One time, he complained that she intentionally served him with just two pieces of meat and was even more upset that the second piece of meat was ordinary “ponmo”. Bekee said that he went on and on about how wicked she was. She dished his food herself, and because it was egusi soup, she took a few lumps to be meat, besides she was absent-minded because she was a nursing mother and had a crying baby to rush back to.

 

He screamed at the top of his voice and when he woke up the next day, he asked her to go back to her parents’ home to learn some manners. He wouldn’t speak to her till she obeyed him and left their home, she was with her parents for two weeks before she went back home with her three children who were all under the age of five at that time.

 

He would also sometimes move out of their home for some months if he was upset with her about something. The first time he did, it was over an argument they had about which school to enroll their first child, he felt that their child was not doing so well in the school where he was enrolled initially but Bekee wanted them to be more patient since it was his first term in primary school. Boye got so upset that Bekee challenged him on that and threatened to move out of their home. Friday of that week, he went to work but did not come home. It took the intervention of his family and Bekee’s family to get him to come home after about six weeks.

 

After he moved out the third time for four months, his family called for a meeting; at the meeting, his father made him promise that no matter what happened between him and his wife, he would never move out of their home or ask her to leave.

 

Bekee is clearly in an unstable marriage so why does she continue to stay with a man like Boye? Boye is not a monster, when he is good, he is really good. Strangely, he has a good sense of humor and makes her laugh hysterically whenever he was in a good mood. He would go any length to make his children happy even in those days when he moved out of their home, he saw his kids frequently and took them somewhere interesting most weekends.

 

Those aren’t enough reasons to stay with a man who makes you sad more than he makes you happy, there should be other reasons and so Bekee spilled the beans.

 

Boye is a sex god; a sex extremist who does everything that there is to be done in sex. He prepares for sex like someone who needs to get his ingredients ready before he starts to cook. He drives out of their home if he suddenly realizes something is missing from his ingredients, it could be as little as ice cream. He gives no half measures, he does it so well and Bekee says she would rather die than lose the sexual pleasure that Boye provides. He does several things to her all at once that leave her happily exhausted.

 

Even when he moves out of their home, Boye finds his way into the house at odd hours when the kids are asleep and does to her what only he can and has ever done to her. She preferred it when Boye moved out of the house to when he asked her to leave because he would always come back to perform his bedroom duties. Sometimes, she even looks forward to their fights because he makes up for lost times with the exceptionally sweet make-up sex.

 

This time, Boye has not visited Bekee's garden in over six months; he stumbled upon text messages sent to Bekee by her childhood friend. In the text message, Bekee’s friend told her in the text messages that she still looked as beautiful as she always was, he regretted that he never made a move on her when he had the chance and would like to see her again. He had run into her at the mall and they exchanged numbers; the messages were flirtatious and although Bekee never responded, Boye said that she encouraged him by her silence.

 

He ignored her for three months and on the night when he walked into their room from the guest room where he had moved into, he caught Bekee in the act! She was deeply engaged with her dildo in their bathroom. She never expected him to walk into their room, even in the days that he moved out of their home, he still found time to do the needful but with the latest development, he left her hungry and longing for his pleasure stick. He had never starved her that much and she had to save herself from going crazy.

 

That discovery left Boye even more bruised and enraged. Presently, he is hurting his wife, it has been over six months and Bekee sees no end to the fight. A few weeks after the dildo incident, he walked into their room and surprisingly took a shower in their bathroom, she was happy that he had come for the unexpected romp that she was used to whenever they fought but was disappointed by what he did.

 

Boye walked out of the shower in all his glory, standing anaconda and all. He stood in front of her, wiped his body, dressed up, and walked away without saying a word to her. Bekee regretted setting her dildo on fire that morning because her husband set her on fire and took his hose away; there was no way to quench the fire and so Bekee burned badly.

 

That night she went to the guest room and begged him for mercy. She took off all her clothes while she begged and cried but he stood up and walked away out on her. He would randomly expose himself just to remind his wife of what she could have if she was well behaved. (O no nso eru aka)

Bekee is still begging and will continue to do so till Boye forgives her. He is the only man she has ever known and will do anything to have him back. Interestingly, I agree with her for every woman deserves to enjoy mind-blowing episodes behind closed doors.