The Victim

Photo credit: the guardian

Today I watched a video of a lady who was stripped naked and dehumanized for the most incredible reason. She was accused of adultery which resulted in the death of her husband. Did she kill her husband with her bare hands? No. Did she shoot him? No. Did she send hired assassins to do the job? No. The belief is that her adulterous ways consequently caused her husband's death while the husband was making love to her. I still do not understand why they ruled out a heart attack, an overdose of an enhancement drug, or too much excitement.

As ridiculous as this may sound, it is the reality that many women in some rural areas are faced with. When a man is plagued by misfortunes, the blame automatically goes to the wife, in some places, when sons die, the wife is blamed and the allegation is more often than not, adultery.

When a woman denies, she is made to swear in the most horrifying ways. One would think that this type of culture was extinct and so if it resurfaces in the twenty-first century, it becomes a cause for alarm.

Women had always been at the receiving end even from their fellow women and as I always say, I am only a feminist to the extent of women supporting and protecting each other. A story comes to my mind after thinking of how women are made to take all the responsibility all the time.

Ginger found that her husband had started locking and holding on to his phone quite closely and she immediately knew that he was doing what he shouldn't be doing and so she began to monitor his phone closely and hoped for a careless moment so she could check it out.

Toby, Ginger's husband started to pay more attention to his looks and get a haircut every week instead of bi-weekly, he also worked out more. Ginger noticed that Toby woke up every 5 am to go jogging without fail and this went on for months. As hard as it was to admit, Toby changed a lot for the better, physically and mentally. He looked good; lost the small belly fat he had and was a lot patient with Ginger and the kids.

One thing that confused Ginger in all her suspicions was that Toby was even more active in the bedroom, she found herself pretending to be asleep just so he would leave her alone. She was excited about her husband's new attitude but she knew that something was terribly wrong. She did not let herself get carried away by all the positives as she patiently waited for that opportunity which came one night after Toby gave his phone to their four-year-old to play a game for kids that he downloaded for him.

He went in to take a bath after he gave his phone to his son and Ginger was thankful that Toby had also started to take a longer time in the bathroom. She quickly handed her own phone to her son to play the same game and swung into action, it did not take her time to find what she was looking for, and afterward handed the phone over to their son and acted like everything was normal. The next day, after Toby left at 5 am for his morning jog, Ginger got up and quickly got into her sports outfit and made her way down to the local park three streets away from their home where the exercise enthusiasts often used, she wore a cap to disguise herself and was on the lookout for her husband. She sighted Toby and his female trainer and then positioned herself where she could see them very well without being noticed.

The text message that gave Toby away was from his trainer, "waking up these days is such a joy knowing that you are the first person I would see, looking forward to working out tomorrow". 

It was quite early and only a few people were in the park, the security man initially refused to let her into the park but she gave him a crisp note of five hundred naira from her shoulder bag which did the magic. Only individuals who were registered with personal trainers were allowed to go into the park. The personal trainers paid the neighborhood association for the use of the park. Ginger watched as Toby seriously did his workouts while she pretended to do some exercises herself.

Everything seemed to be fine until Toby and his trainer started to flirt with each other; she whispered something in his ears and he started to laugh, Ginger started to think of the last time he laughed that way with her and was deeply hurt. She was going to walk back home to get ready for work but Toby's trainer tactfully and playfully hit his bum, which made her wait a little longer, it looked like more was coming.

Shortly after, Toby and his trainer headed to another exit gate and Ginger cleverly moved towards their direction, they both hopped into a Toyota Corolla, there was something familiar about the car, and all of a sudden it clicked. It was the young lady who had just moved to their neighborhood and attends their church. She always greeted her cheerfully in church and was very respectful and she was not a trainer, at least not professionally, Ginger felt like she was in a scene on the TV programme "Cheaters" and while she tried to wrap her head around what was going on, the excited lovebirds bent towards each other and started to kiss. The car was packed close to the wall where a big branch from a tree provided a good shade and cover.

Rage overtook Ginger and she grabbed a big piece of rock that she saw laying there, walked to the car, and with all the strength she could summon, hit the windshield of the car which startled the couple. Toby and his supposedly "trainer" jumped out to see what was going on, it was still a bit dark at about 6:20 am. Ginger pounced on her husband's love interest and would not let go, the petite young lady was obviously in pain as she screamed for help under the much bigger lady.

Toby hurriedly left the scene to avoid further embarrassment. It took a few people who had come to work out in the park to get Ginger off the girl. The young girl jumped in her car and drove off as soon as she got a chance. At home, Toby was not sure how to react when Ginger walked into their bedroom with a victorious smirk on her face. she called off work and walked into the bathroom and had a long bath. When she got out of the bathroom, Toby was on his knees asking her to forgive him.

She told Toby that she bore him no grudges although Toby was nervous and on his toes for a while, her nonchalant attitude scared him and he even secretly watched as she dished his food to be sure she wouldn't poison him. "Don't you dare fix that car" was the only statement she made to him. Everything was normal at home and nobody from both sides of the family heard of the incident. The last time they both drove past the young lady in the neighborhood, her rear windshield was patched with plastic which gave Ginger more satisfaction.

Here lies my concern, why was it easy to forgive her husband while the poor girl was made to suffer for an affair she engaged in with another consenting adult? Why is the woman always the victim?